Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Efa and Adamooh - a story to avoid

Eve was in the garden trying to chill but this big bright red apple would not stop shining in her face, taunting her.
And you already know that God had said don’t eat that apple and all, but enlightened beings could easily tell it was a setup.

Like the children in the marshmallow test, Efa was not so enlightened.
Compared to the angels for instance, she was a baby in years of existence.
Given this, and the fact that she was not even promised a reward theoretically exceeding her indefinitely long wait to explore the bright red apple, 
I mean what eggheads might call a poor incentive structure,
you can already guess what happened to her, her male mate, and the fruit of the Garden. 

Now when God returned from his stroll, knowing full well that for sure the apple was gone, or one might say instead of God to say that she was tired of sharing the fine garden with these overly-intelligent human creatures,
he/she sought an excuse to kick them out,
Wherefore God put on his scary God voice and thundered at them – what!?! where is the shiny apple that I left here, I must be going blind, for I can't see it.
Music videos can be a corrupting influence on anyone, no matter how young, because the first words that came out of the woman’s mouth were “It wasn’t me.”
Straight out of the Shaggy song.

All this time, Adam tarried in a corner, trembling.
Shuoooe! said God. If it wasn’t you, then who was it, Baby Gehl?
Adamu gave Efya this look like, she would be in trouble if she dared implicate him.
Smooth Mummy Eve was indeed about to name her man as the culprit, but fear gripped her heart, because Adamu as gentle as he looks, is dangerous when angry,
and very strong.
Eve saw one snake slithering by, she pointed at that damned soul, “it was the serpent.”
God was amused, suppressing laughter really.  "Oh, child, you think I was born yesterday?" thought he. 
while Adam was amazed pondering when in all his days naming and counting animals he'd ever observed a snake to eat a red apple.
In all, the residents of Eden and heaven were amazed that she would tell such an improbable lie. 
http://realbubbler.blogspot.com.ng/2011/10/adam-and-steve.html
Eve continued: it was the serpent, he came and whispered sssss in my ear to eat the apple, then plucked the apple and showed me and Adamu how to eat
and even took a piece and dropped it in my mouth.
That’s why we’re in this predicament.
It wasn’t me, remember it was you that put the snake here and this daft Adamu too.
But I really blame the snake.
God was speechless.
Wow.
Audacious.
Crafty. 
Very sexy in spite of.  Because of.  In spite of.  Not really sure right now. 
But God is wise which makes H God.  Hence did he consider the best course of action which had been known to Her since the beginning, end, and middle of time.
If it was only the man, I might overlook the sin, thought God.
But this Lai one over here, at this rate she will soon swindle me out of my own garden, or knock me off my throne.
The time is now to send everybody packing.
Let them go therefore and be gods over their territory.  They will soon come to respect what a difficult job I have.
And let snakes eating apples remain the symbol of the illuminati.
And so God pretended once again to be very angry and He said “I banish you.” But secretly he was proud of them.
Behind the beard he was smiling.

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###Three Sisters, novel #1 here###

Celebrate in advance

Get to know
The popular Show Dem Camp (SDC):
Feel Alright ft. Poe and Boj

Happy Weekend ft. Kid Konnect

Ewele ft. Ms. Iye

The venerated rap-duo Show Dem Camp - Ghost and Tec:


Clone Wars 2
There's still the collaborator ShowDemCamp:
with Jesse, MI, BlackMagic, The Collectiv3, Falz, many great African women in music...

The Afropolitan ShowDemCamp.
The...
They have more sides than a geometry test :)

Get caught up on their work - really some of it is hard to find because dropped all over the place like goat pearls but if you're like me you'll enjoy the challenge - and get ready for their next project.

I think it's this summer, and I think it's a Clone Wars Volume 3 tape or something?

Now get caught up on OluwaJesseJagz.  I think his next album is this summer too; I just know.  The last one was a surprise and it was super-duper-awesome.  Just, really, a feast, in every way.
Jesse Jagz of the thousand nicknames and fittingly, Gemini, is the greatest: the only artist to appear twice on my top-five music video feature.
No seriously.  Fela - dead.  Bob Marley - murdered.  By this skinny kid from Jos, Nigeria named Jesse Abaga.
Nothing left to prove, in my opinion.
What will he do next?  Maybe go for the sound of cash-registers credit alerts?  Serve us a new story-brand-swag-persona?  Open up our heads and put the truth inside?  Add some honey to his sound and make it so confectionately ours?  I don't know, I don't know.  I do know that I am not setting myself up for a crash to reality because the reality is Jesse is astounding. 

AdVertIseMent: Read my books.
The crazy thing is omgggg so much great music and art in Nigeria.  I can't wait for the rest of this experience.
This is one video that didn't move me at first.
So while it's great fun, it's not even his best.
S h u d d e r.

Tuesday, April 05, 2016

My Nigerian Brewery

All sorts brewing in my freezer at the moment:

I drank a boozy mango-ginger drink last night - it was ordinary spiced puréed mango when I bought it.
Then I tried my usual watermelon-pineapple drink today and of course that was mildly fermented too, pineapple takes very little time to start - acid, something like that.  You can explain it to me.  Sugar, little things (bacteria?) feed on it and release alcohol/ethanol?  Yeast for bread? 
I still have some delicious zobo in there and maybe one more bottle of pineapple-watermelon.
Zobo is bright red, so when I open it, have to be careful not to spray the whole room.  I once sprayed my backpack and furniture with kunu. Sprayed a man on the bus with zobo :( just a little bit. 

To the best of my knowledge, I had power at some point yesterday, maybe 24 hours ago, so it appears the freezer has thawed out fast.  It's also interesting that it builds up water and ice nowadays...I looked online for that problem but didn't understand the explanation...some sort of blockage in some little pipe and that stops the built-in defrost mechanism, sounds easy enough.

I learned the other day that my fabulous plumber is a wack electrician.  Yeah he can change a lightbulb, but once I had him change a light-switch (months ago when he was doing this and that about the house) and he did it upside down.
So now for two of my switches 'on' is 'off'.
He is a terrific plumber though.  (Experienced.  Excellent, logical, etc.  Very orderly mind.  Good process.  You know how much I love a beautiful mind and hate how girls/women often neglect logic. )  I've heard two people who use plumbers a lot and on large projects say similarly good things about him.  
But he's taught me an important lesson about specialization, else I would have someday asked him to check out the wet fridge.  Leaving it that way for now just means I have to empty the defrost tray once or twice a week before it starts leaking water into the fridge and onto the carpet - that happens a lot, and it's not a huge problem, bigger things in life...

For now there's no electricity so no worries about frost.
All I have to do is keep eating so I can empty the place out.

It's only been about one day without, so of course it could be that there's no problem.  I mean, power could return before I hit the full stop at the end of this sentence.
Or not.
The great development is that for once we have some sort of warning: Power supply in more danger as Ikeja Electric exits talks with Labour, in yesterday's news via NewsBuka.  No seriously, this is a move in the right direction, warn us of impending woes.  I've always felt like news organizations should tell us exactly these things.  Are we gonna have power?  When?  Publish a schedule. 

For those who are now frightened and will like to run generators to disturb the nights and share their pain, here's a warning for you too: FG lied, fuel scarcity to end in May  also via my NewsBuka, subscribe.

So at least you can plan: 
Buy a pack of candles.  Book a month in a hotel.  Oh wait: 'Hotels' sometimes literally 'home away from home' hehe.  Make friends with $erious people, or just jet out to, I don't know, Cotonou, Lomé, Accra?  I recommend taking up new hobbies, like farming in your backyard.  You don't have a backyard?

Good luck, everyone.  It's never as bad as it seems.  Back to re-watching my Legal/Political Philosophy videos
  
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Monday, April 04, 2016

I don't know what I'm doing

...I don't know what I'm saying 
I don't know why I'm watching all these white people dancing 
- Rufus Wainwright (This Love Affair, alternate video) 

#3 - black skin tone


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 Forgetting to sign my latest paintings/drawings, uh-oh.  

Sunday, March 27, 2016

Tips for old people at concerts

I had fun at GidiCulture yesterday.
Basically I love the outdoors and I'm always indoors, so it was fantastic and chill to be out on the beachsand doing nothing.  People-watching.  

Then the main event started
and this hyperactive em-cee and his 500 minions decided to kick me out: in their bid to get the place more, urr, pumping (oh God why do people say turnt turnt turnt) they turned up the volume till iii was vibrating.
I stepped back and back and back till I was out on the street. :D
The end. 
http://wikitravel.org/en/Easter_Island

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If you're old like me, the way to handle these things is:
  • Go early, maybe a few hours early, and leave when it gets noisy i.e. when the main event starts?   
  • Afterwards, definitely bitch and complain (call your friendly radio station, start a letter-writing campaign...o right, they have email now - do that too) so that the concert world will change to accommodate the needs of the sane and still-hearing in society.

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Current top 12 websites

Twitter
Bellanaija
RealBubbler
Facebook

NewsBuka
UpNaira
KAT
XBubbler

LifeLib 
Instagram 
Swift 
NotJustOK

Those are the suggested sites on my Firefox Home page, based on my browsing history.
Yikes, I'm a blog addict.
#2
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###Three Sisters, novel #1 here###