Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Wrestling in real life

“Those small boys beat you, and you are crying?” Aunt said, then gave her permission to beat them back next time.  “Let them also cry and go and tell their parents.” 
The boys did not disappoint; the next time she was down the street one yelled “baby girl” in that accent, his brother said “my fine-fine wife” and one of the two flicked an African almond fruit at her.  It made contact, which was what she had been waiting for. 
She rushed at them with the fury of a creaking lorry. 
“Pow!” and one of the boys was on the ground.  The other she tripped with her knee to the back of his leg – Taekwondo.  He dragged her down with him, but her free hand, then the other hand, went to his throat.  “Say sorry,” she said, between massive gasps. 
As the other boy landed blows on her back, she only pushed down harder and repeated her demand, “say sorry!” in a voice now transformed into a witch-like howl. 
“Sorry.  Sorry.  Chi-hu-so sorry.”
The fighting stopped.  A lizard nodded.  Before getting up, Chibuzo wanted assurance.  “Which one of you will stone me again?”
“Just leave my brother alone,” said the younger, while his brother caught his breath.  “We will never disturb you again.” 

I wrote this fight last month and submitted it for a flash-fiction prize (the Etisalat prize), but it appears to have disappeared from the contest, so I'm posting it myself.  

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Wednesday, November 04, 2015

Be a clown, be a clown, all the world loves a clown

Musician Falz is a complete idiot.  I can only aspire to such levels of, em, stupor

+ Day +One: In which I (tosinbird)
 track down Folarin, the Barrister Lawyer, aka Falz the Bahd Guy, on social media
 and proceed to make a fool of myself

#1 Storming instagram: In which I
1. cry and  cry
2. let those floozies know that I am Senior Teacher, his Legally Wedded Wife.

#2 Home alone: In which I
recruit Michelle Obama to watch over my precious hubby while they're working in the Arabian desert. 

#3 Couple's prayer
In which I pour out my heart regarding my needs -
  twins and the action required to get the twins,
  gifts like flight tickets and an iPhone-with-camera,
  and le good work, because h'am need it, hallelujah.

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Monday, November 02, 2015

The freedom to thrive, not merely to be, AND a fun-tastic analysis of freedom in marriage

"Negative liberty is the freedom from interference by other people.  FREEDOM FROM..."
"Positive liberty is the possession of the power and resources to fulfill one's own potential.  FREEDOM TO..." 
Wikipedia / Google

States do both of these things:
1. help secure my negative freedom, for example by deterring rapists, robbers, and assassins from attacking me
2. reduce my positive freedom, with laws, laws, laws.  This is forbidden, that is required, and the other is punishable by imprisonment. 
This bargain I accept to some extent, realizing that nothing good comes free.
Not only states, but other authorities have dual impacts on my freedom. 
For example:
Positive liberty postponed: School would sometimes give you future power in the form of knowledge in exchange for current boredom - restricted movement, restricted course choices, restricted hobbies/activites. 
Negative liberty sacrificed: As a public figure, like a politician or a celebrity, strange people lay selfish claims to your time and personal space.  You have to care or pretend to care about trivial things, pick up the phone, sign an autograph, endure gossip and slander.  In exchange, you gain power. 

Positive freedom is the freedom to thrive, not merely to be!  (Poetic, huh?)
(Because the instruction says feel free to be creative with this post,) here's one more example:  

Marriage can increase freedom in many ways:
- by providing food, home, peace, caring, and money, one feels "settled down" and no longer buffeted by a harsh world.  In fact, mapping out one's own home-territory is the ultimate in negative freedom  
- by supporting each individual's activities towards achieving life's potential
- by creating opportunities for collaboration between the married people, including the making of children, but also other social, spiritual, economic, and creative collaboration.  
But marriage can take back what it gives:
- it is a possessive relationship in which people lay claim to each other - MY husband, MY wife , for LIFE !
- it may feel like unpaid labour and slavery for one or more parties (excessive cooking and housework, excessive scolding and abuse, excessive financial or other demands),
- it may restrict activities that can be carried on while married (cultural need to spend inordinate amounts of time together, less interaction with other people, can't learn new things and can't change freely without considering the effect on spouse, can't move to a new country without carrying family along, in some cultures you can't marry other people, in some others you can't freely befriend or relate with other people)
- it may take away your food (half if you share one income and are poor, more when you have children), home (when you lose it in a divorce), peace (when you fight), health (the stress of living with someone you can't stand, the sharing of diseases ), caring (jealousy makes your closest partner your deadliest foe) and/or money (costly marriage ceremony, large expenses in marriage, costly divorce proceedings)

Conclusion: choose wisely, and good luck ;) 

Note: I wrote this for a quick assignment in Alexander Guerrero's Coursera + U.Penn. Legal and Political Philosophy course.  Coursera can be so much fun!  (And loads of work.)

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Friday, October 09, 2015

Nigeria time (GMT +1)

Finally changed the time zones for publishing my blogs :) Three of five used to be stamped with Pacific/California time, one with local Lagos time, while this blog used to publish from Cairo.  Took me how many years to switch?

You should check them all out:  NewsBuka for Nigeria community and governance news and commentary.  UpNaira for business and financial, money and development.  REALbubbler for entertainment, arts, culture, and lifestyle.  XBubbler for mathematics, analysis, and education.  And this (LifeLib) for whatever I want, since 2004.
  • You should check them all out now and return regularly.  
  • I'm speeding up the metabolism on NewsBuka, trying to make it a debate-friendly space, that is, to build a community of hangers-out not just passers-through.  
  • Something's wrong with the format on UpNaira, the links are coloured too light and I can't find the right balance - to bold or not to bold, to contrast with the black font or contrast with the white background, to increase font size by how much - for readability.  
  • REALbubbler is as cheesy as you like, design-wise, but at least it's very bold and unique.  In my view, it's not just a lazy entertainment feed, it actually trains you to be creative.  Here's a guarantee - if you gorge on REALbubbler even half as much as I do for a few months, you will become a more competent creative mo-fo, or your no-money back.  
  • I'm addicted to REALbubbler: I smoke my own dope.  In fact, I assembled it for myself first.  2011.  Broke at work, had to do something before I killed someone.  It was an inspiring job, a great time all around.  That's how one of the key stories of my novel started too - I was angry and wrote a tale of a love triangle in which the annoying person was spurned for their 'subordinate',  with me of course cast as The Center Of The Universe - Zuzu the nurse
  • I nearly ruined XBubbler because I made a klutzy address change six months ago that cost about 90% of traffic.  If somebody else had done that to my darling math blog - fire.  If the world really needs my math blog, the visitors will come back. 
  • You know, sometimes I read business/productivity articles about the need to delegate and um, guess that's not what I've been doing.  I have instead a need to automate, to delegate to inanimate objects.  Thank you, engineering school.  Thank you, blessed congenital laziness.  As for delegating to humans, well, I do have a need to inspire, motivate, and go home happy knowing that all these other people would do the right thing.  
That's me
making the internet a better place. 
You're welcome.  
My fridge smells.  There's an unopened pack of 'frozen' cauliflower in the freezer but who knows why there hasn't been electricity for the fridge for a day or longer.  None of my business anyway, it'll come back.  The inverter is doing its merry thing so I can still play music and live normal and there's water.  Some people say when they hear of my beautiful life: it's like you don't live in Nigeria.  Nna, no be me, na God. 

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Saturday, September 12, 2015

Listening Party: Hear Ye!

Nao Yoshioka - Make The Change

GOAT - It's Time For Fun

Tinariwen - Imidiwan ahi sigdim

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