Thursday, May 22, 2014

Small things and big things - an essay from my private little book

I'm listening to a collection by Rufus and reading from my diary.
5am on April 1st 2014: "I've figured it out: I keep pretending to give a shit, when I don't."
http://www.rufuswainwright.com/

Here's the rest of the entry:
I feel like it's really one theater event, this life, and the things that seem to matter, or that matter at all, are just little.  And if there's a God, or if we're in the Matrix, or whatever - who knows?  And one person filled with so much love exterminates all the butterflies in the world (they are forever trapped as larvae; although in their short lives, 'forever' is what - three days?) so the world may eat or something.  Another, filled with so much hate builds a company that takes over the world and makes all but ten people absolute slaves.  Who gives a shit?  Just plot twists.  Then the world will go on.  Or it won't.  Then we'll go to heaven.  Or we won't.  Then the present will be transformed, transmuted, into the future.  Or maybe it'll just poof! and be gone.  Big boo hoo.  
But the little things make us cry still.  A film in which two fall in love.  Tears of joy.  A megastar musician whose art one thinks is lousy.  Oh, protest out of proportion.  
We all should be very bored.  But thank God, we find small things to fight for.  
We all should be very bored.  But how many believe how small these our lives are? 

4 comments:

t said...

On the timing of this post: Just as we cross from staid Taurus into chattery Gemini.
On the grammar in this post: I didn't correct / improve it from what is in the diary.
On the butterflies: Using larvae as cheap abundant food, you get it?
On the slaves: How do we end unemployment?

Erik Donald France said...

Never be bored, though I've always dug the Iggy Pop song, "I'm Bored."

Though in much agreement here, I'd take the opposite angle (as Sagittarius) -- how *can* one be bored, even if it's all samsara, an illusion? Too much going on to ever be fully at boredom.

t said...

Nowadays, "I'm bored" makes me think of Lorde's Tennis Court: "Don't you think that it's boring how people talk
Making smart with their words again, well I'm bored..."
Maybe jaded more than bored. Actually, maybe the trick is to "seem" jaded, seem above it all :) :) :D

Anonymous said...

So small it can appear so insignificant... the life we live, the person we are can be replicated in any corner of the world.... We thank God