Tuesday, December 16, 2014

The hurry-marry thing

Let's be honest:
the monogamy clause - not gonna happen.
the for-life thing - God knows the future.
So why are we wearing funny dresses swearing stuff?
Everybody #slowitdown.
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Thank you.


t said...

I look forward to reading this book: Sex at Dawn: How we mate, why we stray, and what it means for modern relationships, by Christopher Ryan,
which prompted one reviewer to write:
This book pretty much confirmed everything I always suspected about human beings. I was in the process of writing my own book about how certain things people take for granted as "normal" lead to complete dysfunction and mental illness and I found this at the library - completely blowing me away and giving me much needed fuel for a chapter on how sexual morality and jealousy and forced monogamy are ruining people's lives. I have always suspected that human beings were NEVER meant to be strictly monogamous simply from observing the world in action - this only cemented that belief and gave it the scientific backing I needed. This book was AWESOME. As I wrote in my own book - people shouldn't marry because the sex is awesome - that will fade eventually and almost any attempt to "spice up" your sex life with the same person will result in failure. You need to date/marry someone whom you can call your "best friend" because your best friend WON'T CARE WHO YOU SLEEP WITH. It's not like you're going to give up your best friend for any reason, right?

It may be as influencing as Peer Marriage/Love Between Equals, by Pepper Schwartz, about which I wrote this twelve years ago:
The questions of power and equality must not be thrown out of the window in the name of marriage. I have thought this for many years.
Reading "Love Between Equals" helped me discover that I am not alone.
While stressing that it takes work to maintain a peer (sexual) relationship, Dr. Schwartz paints a picture of the lasting satisfaction that results when a couple actively rejects the dominant-submissive model.

Please do not nag me to get married. I'm good at not doing what I don't want to do, and I don't want to do it, and when I do, I will, insha'Allah.

Sridhar Chandrasekaran said...

You have such an interesting blog. Thanks for sharing, I enjoyed reading your posts. All the best for your future blogging journey.

t said...

Thank you so much, SC.

Erik Donald France said...

The truth. "The truth is often seen, rarely heard . . ."

t said...

ECHO: The truth. "The truth is often seen, rarely heard . . ."

t said...

I've read Sex at Dawn. When I'd read a few scattered chapters, I thought the book was disappointing, but that changed long before I finished the book.
This book not only helped me come to a resolution about my view of these things (to chill out even further, to care even less about getting married or not getting married, like, whatever it's not life or death or anything, evidence of this being that I was willing to marry somebody I didn't even know because I couldn't be bothered enough to argue with those who want me to do so, because whatever) but it also helped me learn about anthro, history, war, peace, philosophy, etc. Some nice quotes. I love myself more. It was worth the wait.

I'm glad somebody bothered to write this book. That said, they should rewrite it, a condensed 100 page work with more focus might do the job for me better than this one which was a bit of a ramble. But still great work. Recommend. There's something in it for everybody.

Thank you.

How to make him commit said...

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