Monday, June 22, 2015

Understanding women

Last week in Nigeria gossip blogging was dominated by some circus about... - it's already this week so who even cares?
The same week, I finally watched the first Sex and the City movie and also encountered some circus elsewhere that got me thinking about women and their peculiar madness.
I want answers.
Here are some answers.

First let me get this off my chest: if you want to be beautiful in my book, starrrr, show me some inner beauty.  All that drag-queen bizness may get you tagged as 'stunning', yeah, like he's stunning too.

To the point.  Ahem.  Here are some answers.

A chic who wants to understand men can do worse than learn to code. Honest. If you're already clever or mathy, jump right in with Coursera/RiceUniversity 's Python course. If not, here's a baby version. (But women are already right, so they don't need to learn no crude, male behaviour.)

A dude who wants to understand women?
At first I thought there is no formula, but the three women I studied helped me see one thing: CHIC EGO HUGE, BUT their flavour of selfishness is all about how they appear, not the food-clothing-sex-shelter-money they tangibly get. Understand "face" and you understand women.  What is face?  Watch Asian movies, get a Japanese roommate, or read chic lit.  100 hours to change your life. 

You're welcome.

What else do you need to know to live a long and happy life?  I'll let grandpa tell you -

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t said...

Relatively speaking,
men, like automatons, are about logic;
women, like aristocrats, are about face.


t said...

Here's another one:
men are like waffles,
women are like spaghetti

found in this article about the ability to compartmentalize

t said...

I was just looking at this photo-essay of a beautiful couple looking happy, unblemished, and perfectly paired-up ( #RelationshipGoals: The Natural Chemistry Between Gabrielle Union & Dwayne Wade ) and
I understood

Understood why when there's an affair we say "men cheat"
or why men cheat instead of openly seeing someone else. (Yes, there may be financial reasons, religious reasons etc but here's another:)

The woman in these pictures is glad of the pictures. She owns this relationship, a valuable thing, like one might own a Ferrari. The man is likely glad too, but for her it's extra. People may envy her this thing she owns, putting her on a pedestal as they tag her photos "RELATIONSHIP GOALS"

Well, of course, the guy doesn't get such a high from being Mr. Relationship Goals, doesn't know, no clue, clueless, what the fuss is about, or that there is a fuss. He may enjoy HIS relationship, but not so much because others think he enjoys it, just because he enjoys it.

Some day he sees a girl that looks like his girl, neurotransmitters say chase, fuck. Or he sees a girl that is different, same thing.

Girl is slighted, but in a giant way, because "do you know what everyone will think of me now" - his indiscretion tarnishes HER reputation, not his, weirdly enough.

Fire and brimstone, drama - you never loved me, you're a dog, divorce, I get the house, tears, upset, betrayal, ...
He's upset because he loves his girl, woman, etc, not sure why. And sad that he keeps peeing himself so to speak. Not clear on why the fallout of his accidents is so great.

So my hypothesis seems to get more support from these photos. Animal instinct, logic maybe in men. Animal instinct, higher social and class considerations in women.


t said...

Just ask a woman who knows. This interview is intelligent about marriage and affairs. Hear the expert, controversial French psychologist Maryse Vaillant (author of La Répétition Amoureuse // Les Hommes, l’Amour, la Fidelité // etc):

" We can all love more than one person, but we don’t give ourselves permission. There is a taboo, linked to the idea of monogamy and the Catholic sacrament of marriage.
You have to accept who you are: some people are fundamentally faithful and others are not. To be healthy, you have to be yourself, which is different from morality; not the same outlook. "

"I like people to feel free, but I am more prudent about it when there are children. I have worked a lot on the family and I really stress the security that is owed to children.
But between consenting adults I find sometimes morality stops you from living your life. "