Thursday, March 05, 2015

Me against the third-world problems

I'm proud of my solutions:
No car
No generating set
No television set
No mosquitoes

Details?     
Car? X
I travel little - not some sort of salesperson - so I take public transport and stuff.  It's social and entertaining.  Walking between nodes is all the exercise I get anyhow.  Just as importantly, I cut out car maintenance, driving, cleaning, fueling, all that.  I'll let the experts do it for me.  Nobody has time for a Nigeria-based car mennn.  I pity the cars - you would age quickly and be sickly too if you had to do these treacherous, flooded, bumpy, start-stop courses called roads.

Soon, cars'll drive themselves.  Much safer anyhow.  I've always seen driving as a big responsibility.  You're using all this mental energy to make sure you don't kill; make sure you're not killed.  It's overwhelming sometimes.

And soon, we'll have trains.  Safe, social, civilized - what's not to love about great metropolitan and inter-city transport networks?  You can't properly have city life until it's incredibly easy to see your friends, hang out in the evenings, get drunk if you want, end up safely home.  Which is why LA was a terrible city, in my opinion, and why I had to get a car there, even if I only did like 5-10 miles a month on it.  I couldn't manage grocery shopping, so I broke down (literally crying one day, from the stress of homework and everything, then shopping bags on top of that) and bought one.  My baaaby!  However, I hear they now have improved public transport, or are working on it.
Clearly, there are trains and there are Trains.
Gen? X
I use an inverter.  Having a tiny cavewoman apartment with no high-power appliances helps.  Every Nigerian needs an inverter.
Cut out NEPA-dependence - let them switch on-off on a five-minute cycle if they please.
Cut out generator-hell.  Never had a gen, the smoke kills literally but the noise kills slowly too no?  I mean, and vibration too?
(Poetry Interlude) :
I find I can't smile with a big or small generator on nearby.  I dream of massive sculptures made from the carcasses of generators.  A giant see-saw at the local park.  It says 'never again'.  Never again will we be so stupid, sub-optimal, left-behind...
What is a park, right?  lol.

What is a walkway?  
What is sanity?

TV? X
I don't want a TV because I spend so much time with other entertainment already.  With a TV, I might never DO anything.  Plus I watched enough in the noughties to last a lifetime.  Time to create more than I consume, no?   Also because I'm the kind of cheap black woman that won't pay for cable, lol.

Mosquitoes? X
I need to get help with these greedy ants, they really love baked goods I found the other day, they can sniff banana bread from an ant-mile away, but with the ant-famine on, they're scrounging, foraging, everywhere, even in my bed.  Or I'm imagining?  What could be attracting them?  Been putting off the suggested minor fumigation, but now that they're keeping me up at night, I have to call my friendly neighbourhood facilities manager man.

But the beautiful thing is I've had ~no mosquitoes for years because of my amazing housing-agent-builder-decorator dude who hooked me up, with the window/door nets, and I sure never keep them open.
Love him forever - he oversaw the inverter wiring or whatever too.  I was like, I want a place with a bathroom, electricity, and water, he was like, c'mon you'll need curtains, at least one cooking surface, a bed, ... and I had the sense, and the income (now gone), to let him do whatever.

One change I did require - lose the kitchen, add that to the over-tiny 'bathroom' space.  I believe in the California kitchen; to me, it's a political issue, no wife-slaves cooking in a smoky chamber, make food right where you live.  That or no kitchen at all, lol.  It's a lifestyle issue.

He snuck in a fridge and fans, and a lighter for the cooking thing and some beautiful energy-saving light 'globes' with really cool control circuitry that I don't understand, and - thank you!
I also think no mosquitoes because active geckos on my gecko-coloured wall - what do you think?  
I find carpet is essential.  Otherwise a space feels...industrial, cold, not cosy.  So yes he did carpet.  

I love my little cave so much, I've kept it from the last elections to ... we have elections this month, right?  I love my cave.
Sometimes I sleep in other places and am reminded...mosquitoes suck!

Cool reputation
:(
I mildly understand how unacceptable this behaviour is an image-obsessed town, so I pretend sometimes lol, wouldn't want to cause a scandal by taking the bus in full view of the Marie Antoi-nots and their nouveau-riche noses - thank God they haven't yet discovered rhinoplasty to get the proper up-turn, for now we're still as flat in the nose as our nude-butt primate brethren. 
http://mirrorme.me/lagos-streets-keke-napep/
Still, let me rave for a minute: I love the freakin' Keke NAPEPs.
I think they're glorious tuk-tuks and I'm a tourist in Thailand.  The boss at my food spot, aka my oga at the top, reminds me that they're glorified tricycles.  Scooters.  Mopeds.  Whatever.  I like how they get through traffic sometimes.  Sanity. 

Check out:
Seeking Serenity Sensuality in Lagos, and other poems of Nigeria, here.
https://www.google.com/search?q=tuk+tuk+thailand&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=-iD4VPe2CYHVasfEgaAO&ved=0CB0QsAQ&biw=1094&bih=484
PS Was talking to this fine boy the other day.  He's a doctor now, he used to just be one of the little kids of my fine-girl physics teacher who many really thought was my mum cos we had the same face and later the same hips lol, now he's this clearly very smart and reflective person.  He interpreted my way as 'backpacking through life.'  I hope, wish to live up to that.  Because it's not that serious.  We're here today, so soon gone.

PPS My music speaker died last week of an apparent suicide.  I'd taken to placing the cube flat on the table because I liked the boom boom effect, it sounded more raspy that way than when you let it stand against a wall for instance.  Once, it fell off the ledge so I took care not to leave it so precariously near the edge again.  But this other time I was dancing and heard a crash, and when it failed to work afterwards, I noticed that the electronic port had been damaged - made in China? - and that was the end of the tiny digicube with the fragile sinew and mighty voice.  
I could get larger equipment, but 'backpacking.'

Wednesday, March 04, 2015

Lyrics: REMEMBER ME, by SDC ft. Funbi

SDC, Show Dem Camp, has Ghost and Tec.
Listen (Parental Advisory)

(Intro: TEC recites)
Time-travelling through space and time,
Lovers - she had many -
but in her quiet moments, the
only recurrent face is mine. 
I altered not just her state of mind but
her outlook on life. 
More than just the pipes,
I'm fixing her reservoirs,
the
taps, once dry,
are now flowing in torrents.
Vanilla skies,
vanilla kush,
flows in a room of clouds,
Thanks Agbalumo, I love the way you put it down.

(Chorus/Hook: FUNBI)
O Baby, you gon' remember me,
tattoo my name in your mind deep inside it.
the way that I'm gonna get you excited,
discovering places never been.

(Chorus, again)

O Baby

(GHOST)
Object of my fantasy,
Yall there's no cover
from this loaded magazine
Sex is my weapon-of-choice
Murder is the case, you're the casualty
when I hit
every atom of your anatomy. 
We can take it slow
- drink, smoke, whatever..
I can be a good boy
but you know when I'm bad I'm better. 
Oh, you like my voice?
Does it turn you on? 
Are your panties moist? 
Well,
we can get it on.
Nm, nm, don't trip.
Love the way you play your hard to get
And I see the freak all in your eyes
and that just makes me hard as shit.
Girl your skin is a pool of chocolate
and I'm just dying for a swim
Wanna indulge myself in your sweetness
and have you dripping from my chin
Then
I'ma get my beast on
Shalala kush, ching chong,
Now ride that dee like a seesaw
Giddy up, giddy up, hee haw!
Now it's my turn
Switch positions
Sweat dripping
Bed dripping
from the back shots
now you're moaning
that's your shih
hypnosis.

Go!
(Chorus x2)

(TEC)
Roll a little, toke a little
get the room loud
Calm before a storm -
that's a kush cloud.
Your inhibitions' gone
it's something new now. 
No need to rush it,
Omo cool down.
No time to waste
but we need to take our time
Need endurance for the kind a heights I'm
gonna help you climb
'n' I know you heard that song
that goes 'borrow-borrow make me shine'
though it belongs to someone else
tonight you say it's mine.
And if it's just one night,
then Baby we're on borrowed time,
so all your thoughts of making love
I'm gonna redefine. 
And it fits like a glove -
that's the way it's been designed.
And I know you like to take control
so I will let you shine
I will let you get on top
I will let you start the climb
Your waist,
your waist,
I will let you start to wind,
I'ma let you speed it up,
then tell you Omo take your time,
and if you like to talk
then let me know what's on your mind.

(Chorus x4)

(Outro)
Getting you on that extra mind blow.

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Thursday, February 19, 2015

The Drake album review

It ought to be a crime: interrupting the hum of real life with humdrum - Pills and Potions, fake ass breaking the internet, stealth music or music-video album releases.  A decade-and-a-half ago, three black girls sang terrible compositions terribly and became famous for their efforts.  One of them became so rich and famous that poor musical taste became a genre, and now the copycats...please, musicians of the world, I'm in tears: stop making Beyonce music.  It is terrible.

The cutest thing about this stealth Drake "mixtape" so far is the album art:
If You're Reading This It's Too Late has been bought millions of times in half a week, therefore it's a success? Yes of course, Capitalism.
I am also grateful that the word was spelled Youre and not Your. 
'Cos that would have really driven me mad.  
Three tracks to go.  
Wow, I would lose the first n-4 and work from there.  Maybe the videos will be cute.  Nah.

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Saturday, February 14, 2015

Valentine's Day / T'Ekiti Easy

Me show her the power - Jesse Jagz
Prick no get shoulder - Brymo Olawale
Be careful and think it twice before you choose to use your device - Tuface
A video posted by Falz TheBahdGuy (@falzthebahdguy) on

Happy Valentine's Day, kids :)
A video posted by Falz TheBahdGuy (@falzthebahdguy) on
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Thursday, February 05, 2015

Lift every voice and sing - Ms Williams (Serena the Great) returns to that tournament.

Source: Serena Takes A New Stand, by Steve Tignor for Tennis.com

“You don’t make these stands to accomplish a specific goal, I’ve come to realize. You make them because they’re right. You make them because you wouldn’t be here if someone didn’t make them for you, long before you were even born. You make them because somewhere, some little girl might be watching.”

“I look at pictures of me from that tournament—all fresh-faced and excited and looking sharp in my Puma jumper,” Serena wrote. “I looked so cute!... And yet those people were just ripping me. I was just a kid, and they were ripping me. I feel so badly for the little girl I was back then. How can you justify treating a child so badly?”
They did it 'cos they were scared
They do it 'cos they're afraid
“Thirteen years and a lifetime in tennis later, things feel different. A few months ago, when [whoever] made racist and sexist remarks about Venus and me, the WTA and USTA immediately condemned him. It reminded me how far the sport has come, and how far I’ve come, too."
"Indian Wells was a pivotal moment in my story, and I am a part of the tournament’s story as well. Together we have a chance to write a different ending.”

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Serena is one of the (maybe five? eight?) greatest tennis players of all time. 

Monday, January 26, 2015

The power of imagination

1. There is no spoon (in The Matrix)

2. When I need you, I just close my eyes and I'm with you, and all that I so want to give you is only a heartbeat away. (in When I need you, by Celine Dion, others)

3. Now, as always, reach out your hand.  I have so much to tell you.  (in my poem: A Free White Man)

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLfc2WtGuVPdmhYaQjd449k-YeY71fiaFp 4. Yuval Harari's lectures on imagined realities (A Brief History of Humankind)
Almost everything we know is actually imagined.
Yes, we are so clever.


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Saturday, January 17, 2015

Oh crap, I'm a dude with tits and ass

Did this quiz yesterday.
and again just now
Try it too and comment.

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Friday, January 02, 2015

Three Sisters

novel number one here.
https://www.amazon.com/clouddrive/share/3hVYeAPygZwJZPin-l7edwbzWEnIqjQJHVT7vzQmvlM

Sunday, December 28, 2014

My top five music+video experiences of 2014


1. The Search, by Jesse Jagz ft. Jumar, Dugod, ...
This, simply, is what it should be.


2. Pluto (Remember You), by DJ Clock ft. Beatenberg
I believe in the beat. Listen to this. Bliss.


3. Dark Horse, by Katy Perry ft. some dude (Juicy J.)
Technicolour grandeur.  


4. Deaf, by Eva Alordiah
Attitude and everything.


5. Bound 2, by Kanye West ft. Kim Kardashian
Stark.  Honest. 


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Tuesday, December 16, 2014

The hurry-marry thing

https://www.google.com/search?q=%D9%82%D9%81&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=ImKQVLjRJqj9ywPu6YHwDQ&ved=0CCEQsAQ
Let's be honest:
the monogamy clause - not gonna happen.
the for-life thing - God knows the future.
http://www.bellanaija.com/2012/06/22/the-glam-miniature-wedding-of-every-dolls-dream-all-you-need-to-know-about-obi-nwokedis-black-barbie-ken-nigerian-traditional-wedding-shoot/
So why are we wearing funny dresses swearing stuff?
Everybody #slowitdown.
https://www.google.com/search?q=%E4%B8%8D&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8#q=%E4%B8%8D+translate+english+chinese+no
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Thank you.

Monday, December 15, 2014

One-word astrology: An over-simple guide to behaviour

The Signs
Their Pros
And Cons
Capricorn
Classy
Cold
Taurus
Steady
Stubborn
Virgo
Neat
Nit-picky
Cancer
Sweet
Moody
Scorpio
Deep
Evil
Pisces
Gentle
Dreamlalaland
(Impractical)
Aries
Fast
Daft
Leo
Grand
Expensive
Sagittarius
Experienced
Restless
Libra
Intelligent/Adaptable
Uncertain
Aquarius
Curious
Weird
Gemini
Entertaining
Tiring

© 2014 Tosin Otitoju

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Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Jigsaw days

I just spent upwards of 24 of the last 48 hours doing this:
 
Time to sleeeep.
It looks like I averaged over 1 1/2 minutes per piece, which seems slow, until you try it.  Menn, it was fiendishly hard, and I'm so glad it was :)  Next time (not soon) I'll go for 1000 mins or less.   
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Friday, November 21, 2014

Tomorrow, Jupiter

Looking forward to the shift 
from intense to lucky, all of a sudden.  
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sagittarius_%28astrology%29

Everything's a sign of my astrology
- Rufus Wainwright, in Pretty Things

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Wednesday, November 12, 2014

The Jesse Jagz oeuvre in four home-made albums

Jesse Jagz is one of my favourite musicians in the world.
He is called 'The Greatest' - how those rap monikers stick - and that name works fine, but each of his albums, even the first, makes you want to also crown him 'The Genius' for the beauty, breadth and inventiveness of his sounds.
http://www.360nobs.com/2010/08/jesse-jagz-jag-of-all-tradez-%E2%80%A6naija-listening-e-a-r-essential-album-rating/
a: Jag of All Tradez
My critique is that sometimes the albums are too good, too diverse, and fail to hammer home an overarching theme or round out a specific style.
Trust me to find something wrong with anything.
Indeed, the first album is titled Jag of all Tradez.  It is a platter of multiple, maybe three, newish styles, and the result is wondrous, and it is wonderful when you're doing the long drive or stuck in traffic and you have all these many beats and lyrics and amazements to accompany you, and even if the album is almost five years old, I still say get it now.
But artistically it is a tiny bit much.
Jesse, na too much talent dey worry you :) 
b. Jagz Nation Vol 1: Thy Nation Come
My publisher, SS at Kraft Books once told me that it's alright for a first album (well, a first poetry collection) to be more diverse, a little more episodic, more an introduction to the many facets of you, you know?  It was he who suggested I cut my gazillion poems into more than one collection, and that I would understand someday, so we went with about 40% of the initial set for Comrade.
After that, I understood, and produced progressively 'tighter' collections in theme and style, so that following the sort of this is me, this is my struggle, this is us, this is what we love, range of Comrade, and still I really love Comrade :)
the next collection Yalla! is about places and travel, with a friendship section tacked on.
Then Big Girl and Big Boy would be loved by any boy, or any girl, each book being at the intersection of romance and this awkward economic situation of being elite in a land full of poor people.
The latest book, Monsters, is really just about Monsters, i.e. fear and loathing.  Preview Monsters.  
Tracklist for Thy Nation Come
Jesse's work too has evolved nicely in this regard.  Even from their titles, you can tell that the next two albums have more definition.
There is 'Thy Nation Come' which is very reggae-and-marijuana-inspired;
followed almost immediately by 'Royal Niger Company' named after the colonial-era trading company that became Nigeria.  He introduced RNC as a gift to the fans (ohmygodd free download, out of the blue) that serves up a little bit of history.
http://notjustok.com/2014/03/28/album-jesse-jagz-jagz-nation-vol-2-royal-niger-company-download/
c. Royal Niger Company
Anyway,  I sliced and diced his three albums and created four collections that offer this enhanced thematic / stylistic coherence that I love.  Here they are. 

THE GREATEST
1a. Take Over (ft. Ice Prince) 2a. Greatest 3a. Jesse Swag 4a. Jargo I (ft. Jago) 5c. Jargo III (Ain't Nobody, ft. Tesh Carter and Chaka Khan) 6c. Louis 7b. God on the Mic 8b. International 9a. Pussy Cat 10a. Chocolate 11a. Dis Jagged Life (ft. Lindsey) 12a. Nobody Test Me (ft. MI and Ice Prince) //

LOVEU
1a. Number One 2a. Intoxicated (ft. Wizkid and Soul E) 3a. Shorty (Wine For Me) 4b. Where You At? 5a. Pump It Up 6a. L-O-V-E-U 7c. Sunrise (Shine On) 8c. Supply and Demand 9c. The Case (ft. Show Dem Camp) 10b. Steady Going 11a. My Brother 12b. Pedal to the Floor //

THY NATION COME 
1b. Intro 2b. Burning Bush 3b. Desire 4b. Redemption 5b. Mamacita 6b. Sex and Scotch 7b. Sativa (Skit) 8b. Sativa 9c. The Window (ft. Jumar) 10a. Inhale Out (ft. Skales) 11b. After Party 12b. Bed of Roses (ft. James Mavrik) 13b. Selassie //

ROYAL NIGER COMPANY
1b. Jargo II (ft. 9ice) 2c. High Life (ft. Rexx) 3c. Sunshine (ft. Fela A Kuti) 4c. Oceans and Lakes (ft. Sarah Mitaru and Dugod) 5a. Wetin Dey 6a. Sugar Cane Baby 7a. Bend Down Low 8x. Murder Dem 9c. The Search (ft. Jumar and Dugod) 10b. Bad Girl (ft. Wizkid) 11x. Las Gidi Grinding 12c. How We Do (ft. Tupac) //

What the albums are about
1. The Greatest - Rap is about building yourself up with praise.  Like a good oriki, it makes you feel good-and-confident. Now What's My Name?
2. LOVEU - Baby, I love you, so wind your behind for me.  Holy Album Sales! 
3. Thy Nation Come - Jah-consciousness.  I just murdered Bob Marley.
4. Royal Niger Company - The new sound of the tropics.  I just murdered Fela. 

Complain in the comments section.  
Advertisement: Read my booksThere is an extended, rather traditional, oriki poem in Big Boy, with a name oriki, twin oriki, and town/clan oriki.  Yoruba people have been doing for (centuries?) this swag-a-brag thing that rappers do all day. 

One day I will write more about
- oriki (re-mi-do)
- thematic unity (in my lecture series on creativity