Sometimes our morality is just misguided...
GODLY PEOPLE
by Tosin Otitoju
Ten thousand years and
we have not changed.
Our idioms -
Climbing a mountain,
Reaching for the sky,
Family in the firmaments, ...
Recycled matter, we
kneel, we bow, we quake.
Ten thousand years and
we still yearn for a splash
of warm blood against our face;
we want to be told
who is chosen for slaughter;
we yearn for pain laughter event;
we to whom nothing ever happens
want something to happen as
we have not changed
in our lust for excitement.
Festivals get boring without
drunken excess.
We prefer our parties brimming
with gossip and fashion.
We yearn for convulsion,
and uncommon theater.
Man dies without passion.
Rules bind the pash...
rules free the pash too,
at the appointed times.
Our idioms
have not changed:
A priest fertilizes a virgin...
the land is dark, humus-rich...
pregnant with tubers,
and aglow with fruits.
A question:
if one priest bows, and another
embraces him,
what fertility is there?
Climbing a mountain
to ponder the impending suffering
when a hired priest
wastes the seeds,
leaving the waiting female earth
scorned and certainly furious...
The word from above,
at the mountaintop,
is this:
Give the people what they want.
Reaching for the sky
on a ladder of vocation:
we have bellies to feed,
and priests to direct the directors above.
The priest must put his seed
in a fertile hole,
to teach the animators
to stave off famine.
Family in the firmaments,
where bellies are ever full,
understands our prayer
for daily bread.
The word to us is politically strategic:
Spill the blood of the lazy priests;
give the people a party.
Recycled matter, we
make excellent humus soil,
bringing forth fruit,
fragrant when the sun smiles,
numerous when the rain showers fall
flirtatiously and tease
out food for citizen
families. Numerous, we
kneel, we bow, we quake.
When they above frown,
we sacrifice.
Sometimes even before they frown,
we present a small kola.
Two corpses lay on the lakeshore
in view of hooting accusers.
The party was one-in-town,
yet the famine was severe.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Monday, December 05, 2011
I AM Tiger Woods
Back in the day at Howard, some HU upperclassman who looked like Tiger Woods liked to wear a T-shirt that had Tiger's face on it and the words: I am Tiger Woods. I had a crush on both brothas. (Except that in those days, Tiger wasn't a brotha yet, he was Cablinasian. The Howard guy, I think his name was Michael, had a stupendously hawt girlfriend.) Nowadays you look at the same face and say, dude, Tiger, you're a sleazeball. Then again, it's healthier to be out as a sleazeball than to be the constipated, poster-boy for hole-in-one "accenture" performance.
Anyway, Tiger Woods finally won a title, after two years of huddling with the golf mortals.
Today I decided to play the golf game on my "vintage" Nokia cellphone. I had a good feeling, and guess what happened? I played only one bogey (hole 14, usually really easy, my concentration just slipped), and ended up at 7 under par (62 total.) Before this, my best ever was 68 (-1). My other top-five best scores - in three years of playing this game - 69, 70, 70.
It's a beautiful day.
Next up, I have to reach the end of the Word Mole game.
Anyway, Tiger Woods finally won a title, after two years of huddling with the golf mortals.
Today I decided to play the golf game on my "vintage" Nokia cellphone. I had a good feeling, and guess what happened? I played only one bogey (hole 14, usually really easy, my concentration just slipped), and ended up at 7 under par (62 total.) Before this, my best ever was 68 (-1). My other top-five best scores - in three years of playing this game - 69, 70, 70.
It's a beautiful day.
Next up, I have to reach the end of the Word Mole game.
Friday, December 02, 2011
My Flooy Lily Wura and his Louisa Lily "Gyp" Denys Western
It would seem that the following passage inspired my characters in "Honeymoon." The only problem is that while I wrote the story in September 2009, the first time I read Sons and Lovers was one year later (September 2010.) I was just reading the book again, and was jarred (and pleased) to find this passage with such a familiar female lead character. The air-heads even share a name: Lily.
The lesson is that a meme may truly develop independently in more than one place; it's not necessarily copied. Well, here's a little D.H. Lawrence for your reading pleasure:
Sons and Lovers
Chapter 6: A Death in the Family
William came home again with his sweetheart at the Whitsuntide.
He had one week of his holidays then. It was beautiful weather.
As a rule, William and Lily and Paul went out in the morning together
for a walk. William did not talk to his beloved much, except to tell
her things from his boyhood. Paul talked endlessly to both of them.
...
He looked at her. Her beauty seemed to hurt him. He glanced
at her flower-decked head and frowned.
"You look nice enough, if that's what you want to know,"
he said.
And she walked without her hat. In a little while William
recovered, and was rather tender to her. Coming to a bridge,
he carved her initials and his in a heart.
L. L. W.
W. M.
She watched his strong, nervous hand, with its glistening
hairs and freckles, as he carved, and she seemed fascinated by it.
All the time there was a feeling of sadness and warmth,
and a certain tenderness in the house, whilst William and Lily
were at home. But often he got irritable. She had brought,
for an eight-days' stay, five dresses and six blouses.
"Oh, would you mind," she said to Annie, "washing me these
two blouses, and these things?"
And Annie stood washing when William and Lily went out the
next morning. Mrs. Morel was furious. And sometimes the young man,
catching a glimpse of his sweetheart's attitude towards his sister,
hated her.
On Sunday morning she looked very beautiful in a dress
of foulard, silky and sweeping, and blue as a jay-bird's feather,
and in a large cream hat covered with many roses, mostly crimson.
Nobody could admire her enough. But in the evening, when she was
going out, she asked again:
"Chubby, have you got my gloves?"
"Which?" asked William.
"My new black SUEDE."
"No."
There was a hunt. She had lost them.
"Look here, mother," said William, "that's the fourth pair
she's lost since Christmas--at five shillings a pair!"
"You only gave me TWO of them," she remonstrated.
And in the evening, after supper, he stood on the hearthrug
whilst she sat on the sofa, and he seemed to hate her. In the
afternoon he had left her whilst he went to see some old friend.
She had sat looking at a book. After supper William wanted to write
a letter.
"Here is your book, Lily," said Mrs. Morel. "Would you care
to go on with it for a few minutes?"
"No, thank you," said the girl. "I will sit still."
"But it is so dull."
William scribbled irritably at a great rate. As he sealed
the envelope he said:
"Read a book! Why, she's never read a book in her life."
"Oh, go along!" said Mrs. Morel, cross with the exaggeration,
"It's true, mother--she hasn't," he cried, jumping up and taking
his old position on the hearthrug. "She's never read a book in her life."
"'Er's like me," chimed in Morel. "'Er canna see what there
is i' books, ter sit borin' your nose in 'em for, nor more can I."
"But you shouldn't say these things," said Mrs. Morel to her son.
"But it's true, mother--she CAN'T read. What did you give her?"
"Well, I gave her a little thing of Annie Swan's. Nobody wants
to read dry stuff on Sunday afternoon."
"Well, I'll bet she didn't read ten lines of it."
"You are mistaken," said his mother.
All the time Lily sat miserably on the sofa. He turned
to her swiftly.
"DID you ready any?" he asked.
"Yes, I did," she replied.
"How much?"
"l don't know how many pages."
"Tell me ONE THING you read."
She could not.
...
And so often William manifested the same hatred towards
his betrothed. On the last evening at home he was railing against her.
"Well," he said, "if you don't believe me, what she's like,
would you believe she has been confirmed three times?"
"Nonsense!" laughed Mrs. Morel.
"Nonsense or not, she HAS! That's what confirmation means
for her--a bit of a theatrical show where she can cut a figure."
"I haven't, Mrs. Morel!" cried the girl--"I haven't! it
is not true!"
"What!" he cried, flashing round on her. "Once in Bromley,
once in Beckenham, and once somewhere else."
"Nowhere else!" she said, in tears--"nowhere else!"
"It WAS! And if it wasn't why were you confirmed TWICE?"
"Once I was only fourteen, Mrs. Morel," she pleaded,
tears in her eyes.
"Yes," said Mrs. Morel; "I can quite understand it, child. Take no
notice of him. You ought to be ashamed, William, saying such things."
"But it's true. She's religious--she had blue velvet
Prayer-Books--and she's not as much religion, or anything else,
in her than that table-leg. Gets confirmed three times for show,
to show herself off, and that's how she is in EVERYTHING--
EVERYTHING!"
The girl sat on the sofa, crying. She was not strong.
"As for LOVE!" he cried, "you might as well ask a fly to love you!
It'll love settling on you---"
"Now, say no more," commanded Mrs. Morel. "If you want
to say these things, you must find another place than this.
I am ashamed of you, William! Why don't you be more manly.
To do nothing but find fault with a girl, and then pretend you're
engaged to her! "
Mrs. Morel subsided in wrath and indignation.
William was silent, and later he repented, kissed and comforted
the girl. Yet it was true, what he had said. He hated her.
When they were going away, Mrs. Morel accompanied them as far
as Nottingham. It was a long way to Keston station.
"You know, mother," he said to her, "Gyp's shallow.
Nothing goes deep with her."
"William, I WISH you wouldn't say these things," said Mrs. Morel,
very uncomfortable for the girl who walked beside her.
"But it doesn't, mother. She's very much in love with me now,
but if I died she'd have forgotten me in three months."
![]() |
| Image: MADAM (I used the crayon brush in Microsoft Paint) |
Sons and Lovers
Chapter 6: A Death in the Family
William came home again with his sweetheart at the Whitsuntide.
He had one week of his holidays then. It was beautiful weather.
As a rule, William and Lily and Paul went out in the morning together
for a walk. William did not talk to his beloved much, except to tell
her things from his boyhood. Paul talked endlessly to both of them.
...
He looked at her. Her beauty seemed to hurt him. He glanced
at her flower-decked head and frowned.
"You look nice enough, if that's what you want to know,"
he said.
And she walked without her hat. In a little while William
recovered, and was rather tender to her. Coming to a bridge,
he carved her initials and his in a heart.
L. L. W.
W. M.
She watched his strong, nervous hand, with its glistening
hairs and freckles, as he carved, and she seemed fascinated by it.
All the time there was a feeling of sadness and warmth,
and a certain tenderness in the house, whilst William and Lily
were at home. But often he got irritable. She had brought,
for an eight-days' stay, five dresses and six blouses.
"Oh, would you mind," she said to Annie, "washing me these
two blouses, and these things?"
And Annie stood washing when William and Lily went out the
next morning. Mrs. Morel was furious. And sometimes the young man,
catching a glimpse of his sweetheart's attitude towards his sister,
hated her.
On Sunday morning she looked very beautiful in a dress
of foulard, silky and sweeping, and blue as a jay-bird's feather,
and in a large cream hat covered with many roses, mostly crimson.
Nobody could admire her enough. But in the evening, when she was
going out, she asked again:
"Chubby, have you got my gloves?"
"Which?" asked William.
"My new black SUEDE."
"No."
There was a hunt. She had lost them.
"Look here, mother," said William, "that's the fourth pair
she's lost since Christmas--at five shillings a pair!"
"You only gave me TWO of them," she remonstrated.
And in the evening, after supper, he stood on the hearthrug
whilst she sat on the sofa, and he seemed to hate her. In the
afternoon he had left her whilst he went to see some old friend.
She had sat looking at a book. After supper William wanted to write
a letter.
"Here is your book, Lily," said Mrs. Morel. "Would you care
to go on with it for a few minutes?"
"No, thank you," said the girl. "I will sit still."
"But it is so dull."
William scribbled irritably at a great rate. As he sealed
the envelope he said:
"Read a book! Why, she's never read a book in her life."
"Oh, go along!" said Mrs. Morel, cross with the exaggeration,
"It's true, mother--she hasn't," he cried, jumping up and taking
his old position on the hearthrug. "She's never read a book in her life."
"'Er's like me," chimed in Morel. "'Er canna see what there
is i' books, ter sit borin' your nose in 'em for, nor more can I."
"But you shouldn't say these things," said Mrs. Morel to her son.
"But it's true, mother--she CAN'T read. What did you give her?"
"Well, I gave her a little thing of Annie Swan's. Nobody wants
to read dry stuff on Sunday afternoon."
"Well, I'll bet she didn't read ten lines of it."
"You are mistaken," said his mother.
All the time Lily sat miserably on the sofa. He turned
to her swiftly.
"DID you ready any?" he asked.
"Yes, I did," she replied.
"How much?"
"l don't know how many pages."
"Tell me ONE THING you read."
She could not.
...
And so often William manifested the same hatred towards
his betrothed. On the last evening at home he was railing against her.
"Well," he said, "if you don't believe me, what she's like,
would you believe she has been confirmed three times?"
"Nonsense!" laughed Mrs. Morel.
"Nonsense or not, she HAS! That's what confirmation means
for her--a bit of a theatrical show where she can cut a figure."
"I haven't, Mrs. Morel!" cried the girl--"I haven't! it
is not true!"
"What!" he cried, flashing round on her. "Once in Bromley,
once in Beckenham, and once somewhere else."
"Nowhere else!" she said, in tears--"nowhere else!"
"It WAS! And if it wasn't why were you confirmed TWICE?"
"Once I was only fourteen, Mrs. Morel," she pleaded,
tears in her eyes.
"Yes," said Mrs. Morel; "I can quite understand it, child. Take no
notice of him. You ought to be ashamed, William, saying such things."
"But it's true. She's religious--she had blue velvet
Prayer-Books--and she's not as much religion, or anything else,
in her than that table-leg. Gets confirmed three times for show,
to show herself off, and that's how she is in EVERYTHING--
EVERYTHING!"
The girl sat on the sofa, crying. She was not strong.
"As for LOVE!" he cried, "you might as well ask a fly to love you!
It'll love settling on you---"
"Now, say no more," commanded Mrs. Morel. "If you want
to say these things, you must find another place than this.
I am ashamed of you, William! Why don't you be more manly.
To do nothing but find fault with a girl, and then pretend you're
engaged to her! "
Mrs. Morel subsided in wrath and indignation.
William was silent, and later he repented, kissed and comforted
the girl. Yet it was true, what he had said. He hated her.
When they were going away, Mrs. Morel accompanied them as far
as Nottingham. It was a long way to Keston station.
"You know, mother," he said to her, "Gyp's shallow.
Nothing goes deep with her."
"William, I WISH you wouldn't say these things," said Mrs. Morel,
very uncomfortable for the girl who walked beside her.
"But it doesn't, mother. She's very much in love with me now,
but if I died she'd have forgotten me in three months."
Saturday, November 26, 2011
I think this is perfect
Darey's Not The Girl is wonderful music + impeccable video. I just love to sing/watch this. "You're not the girl I used to know, you're a shadow of yourself // I think I lost you long ago..."
Friday, November 18, 2011
Suggestions for Indigestion
Feeling rather unwell this evening, with a mild fever accompanying indigestion. Been sipping water as doctor said (it helps you burp/fart aka pass gas) but this may not be working quickly enough to keep my health within jolly bounds.
So, here's what I just learned online about fixing it:
Number 1 advice: BURP.
2. Don't lie down after eating. Sleep sitting up or supported with a pillow.
3. No-nos in diet: high-fructose corn syrup, carbonated drinks, cheese and dairy, coffee (take tea instead), fries/chips and fast foods, gluten (as in wheat bread).
4. Add to diet: Garlic, natural fiber foods, and coconut oil.
5. Instead of 1-3 large meals, eat smaller meals throughout the day.
6. You may need additional herbal and natural treatments, and of course pharmaceutical drugs as well. Talk to a doctor.
Note: The antibiotics in my treatment regime probably killed off the good bacteria in my gut as well as the bad ones. Although the treatment is over, it appears that I need more time to regain the ability to digest complex foods.I ate several new things today: cheese, malt (the worst), moin-moin (made with beans) and had no fruits/veggies to speak of.
Other note: My current suffering also gives me a great appreciation of what infants go through with their little tiny stomachs processing all that milk. It appears that the need to burp can make you very unhappy and even give you a fever.
Isn't this weird: Vitamin C and iron tablets can irritate the esophagus (read more) and excessive iron causes constipation. Can't wait to be done with the medicines.
Helpful links:
What is indigestion/dyspepsia?
Are there natural remedies for chronically unhappy stomachs?
Please comment if you have any suggestions. Right now my tummy is at ease (sitting up to type must have helped) but the temperature is up.
So, here's what I just learned online about fixing it:
Number 1 advice: BURP.
2. Don't lie down after eating. Sleep sitting up or supported with a pillow.
3. No-nos in diet: high-fructose corn syrup, carbonated drinks, cheese and dairy, coffee (take tea instead), fries/chips and fast foods, gluten (as in wheat bread).
4. Add to diet: Garlic, natural fiber foods, and coconut oil.
5. Instead of 1-3 large meals, eat smaller meals throughout the day.
6. You may need additional herbal and natural treatments, and of course pharmaceutical drugs as well. Talk to a doctor.
Note: The antibiotics in my treatment regime probably killed off the good bacteria in my gut as well as the bad ones. Although the treatment is over, it appears that I need more time to regain the ability to digest complex foods.I ate several new things today: cheese, malt (the worst), moin-moin (made with beans) and had no fruits/veggies to speak of.
Other note: My current suffering also gives me a great appreciation of what infants go through with their little tiny stomachs processing all that milk. It appears that the need to burp can make you very unhappy and even give you a fever.
Isn't this weird: Vitamin C and iron tablets can irritate the esophagus (read more) and excessive iron causes constipation. Can't wait to be done with the medicines.
Helpful links:
What is indigestion/dyspepsia?
Are there natural remedies for chronically unhappy stomachs?
Please comment if you have any suggestions. Right now my tummy is at ease (sitting up to type must have helped) but the temperature is up.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Poem from Big Girl
MADAM IN CHAINS
by Tosin Otitoju
Please don’t call me “Madam”
In that way you have
Of lowering your head
Then darting forth
in my service.
You are making fun of me!
Is it money you want?
Take
And go.
I got your message.
The one you share with
The rest of your people
When I’m not here.
The one in your eyes,
Which I can’t see
When your head is down.
The message that
hit me today
when I read that story
about the corrupt people
destroying their country.
I read about rising anger,
The streets unsafe,
With the accounting
For past deeds.
In the story,
Many were pulled
Out of their
Jeeps and mansions.
Some climbed into the trees
But were forced back down,
Pelted with coconuts.
The guilty were beaten.
Their clothes were torn
To reveal their
Pink baboon yansh –
Funny enough,
Just like everybody else’s.
Don’t call me “Madam”
When your blood is boiling
And you just want to
Drive a bamboo pole
through my chest
when the day comes.
I went to the animal fair.
I found crazy money there.
I arranged my pink yansh,
Adorned it with a sash,
I combed my ebony hair.
Just as baba with his friends
Terrorized the pups with his strength,
My sorority –
Called The Nipples Of Bling –
Brought the ladies to represent.
I’m guilty as sin.
They said we built a clinic –
Ha, we built a stage set.
With the lights and camera
At a special angle,
It looked like bricks and cement.
We spliced in sick people
Connected to drips.
They said we built a clinic –
We built CSR,
Corporate Social Responsibility,
There’s crazy money there.
So don’t call me “Madam”
With your head lowered
Suggesting I give you something,
When you are the royal
And I am the thief.
Don’t you call me “Madam.”
You won’t be calling me that
Tomorrow
When your eyes are mad,
Your rage is exposed,
And the pole is through my heart.
Don’t you call me “Madam,”
Bloody hypocrite.
I am not in the mood.
by Tosin Otitoju
Please don’t call me “Madam”
In that way you have
Of lowering your head
Then darting forth
in my service.
You are making fun of me!
Is it money you want?
Take
And go.
I got your message.
The one you share with
The rest of your people
When I’m not here.
The one in your eyes,
Which I can’t see
When your head is down.
The message that
hit me today
when I read that story
about the corrupt people
destroying their country.
I read about rising anger,
The streets unsafe,
With the accounting
For past deeds.
In the story,
Many were pulled
Out of their
Jeeps and mansions.
Some climbed into the trees
But were forced back down,
Pelted with coconuts.
The guilty were beaten.
Their clothes were torn
To reveal their
Pink baboon yansh –
Funny enough,
Just like everybody else’s.
Don’t call me “Madam”
When your blood is boiling
And you just want to
Drive a bamboo pole
through my chest
when the day comes.
I went to the animal fair.
I found crazy money there.
I arranged my pink yansh,
Adorned it with a sash,
I combed my ebony hair.
Just as baba with his friends
Terrorized the pups with his strength,
My sorority –
Called The Nipples Of Bling –
Brought the ladies to represent.
I’m guilty as sin.
They said we built a clinic –
Ha, we built a stage set.
With the lights and camera
At a special angle,
It looked like bricks and cement.
We spliced in sick people
Connected to drips.
They said we built a clinic –
We built CSR,
Corporate Social Responsibility,
There’s crazy money there.
So don’t call me “Madam”
With your head lowered
Suggesting I give you something,
When you are the royal
And I am the thief.
Don’t you call me “Madam.”
You won’t be calling me that
Tomorrow
When your eyes are mad,
Your rage is exposed,
And the pole is through my heart.
Don’t you call me “Madam,”
Bloody hypocrite.
I am not in the mood.
Wednesday, November 09, 2011
What I'm doing with my life
Watching Cuidado Con El Ángel (Be Careful with The Angel).
I've been very ill (was very ill), recuperating, and asked my friends to bring me telenovellas to watch. Now I have a pile of them. The cheesiness is killing me. It's great therapy. THANK YOU.
Other telenovellas I watched in the past:
Pasión de Gavilanes, in which the Reyes brothers pair off with the fine rich ladies of the manor...
and the one that started it all, El cuerpo del Deseo (The Body of Desire) also known as Second Chance.

I'm reading a bit too: Open City (nice; Teju Cole), and Sons and Lovers (again; D.H. Lawrence). Reading slowly. Pretty weak.
I've been very ill (was very ill), recuperating, and asked my friends to bring me telenovellas to watch. Now I have a pile of them. The cheesiness is killing me. It's great therapy. THANK YOU.
Other telenovellas I watched in the past:
Pasión de Gavilanes, in which the Reyes brothers pair off with the fine rich ladies of the manor...
and the one that started it all, El cuerpo del Deseo (The Body of Desire) also known as Second Chance.
I'm reading a bit too: Open City (nice; Teju Cole), and Sons and Lovers (again; D.H. Lawrence). Reading slowly. Pretty weak.
Friday, October 14, 2011
Dubliners, with adoration
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Excuse Me - Gala Night
I spent the last days of September 2011 becoming a celebrity. Yep.
Photo: World-famous Genevieve, "Jenifa" Funke Akindele, the guy is Debola (Chude's "brother"), and that's me on the right. I'm short because I ditched the high-heels under the table. Dem wan kill person.
My kids in this small town probably don't believe that I hung out with Jenifa, so I'll have to show them the real photo: my claim to fame. But they never heard of Genevieve, the poor darlings.
I'm not showing you the hilarious photos of me in wifebeaters at some Veuve Cliquot champagne gig. (Seriously, who dresses all nice on a Thursday morning?) But I will tell you that my blog brother, Uncle Erik is publishing a recent chat we had - yay!
P.S. I'm in a quiet town at a writer's residency. Drew the sketch from memory - it's burned in my brain after the many minutes I spent waiting for it to open.
P.P.S. Speaking of the fame-monster, I know this Attila astrophysicist guy. But you don't believe me!
Photo: World-famous Genevieve, "Jenifa" Funke Akindele, the guy is Debola (Chude's "brother"), and that's me on the right. I'm short because I ditched the high-heels under the table. Dem wan kill person.
My kids in this small town probably don't believe that I hung out with Jenifa, so I'll have to show them the real photo: my claim to fame. But they never heard of Genevieve, the poor darlings.
I'm not showing you the hilarious photos of me in wifebeaters at some Veuve Cliquot champagne gig. (Seriously, who dresses all nice on a Thursday morning?) But I will tell you that my blog brother, Uncle Erik is publishing a recent chat we had - yay!
P.S. I'm in a quiet town at a writer's residency. Drew the sketch from memory - it's burned in my brain after the many minutes I spent waiting for it to open.
P.P.S. Speaking of the fame-monster, I know this Attila astrophysicist guy. But you don't believe me!
Friday, September 30, 2011
New writing in Itch, Jungle Jim, Klorofyl,
South African pulp-fiction hardcopy mag Jungle Jim has my short story, Assassin. Buy in South African shops...
South African e-mag itch and Nigerian e-mag Klorofyl feature my poems. Click on the links to read.
Ah yes, I'm off to the Nigerian writer's residency, in Oyo State. :)
South African e-mag itch and Nigerian e-mag Klorofyl feature my poems. Click on the links to read.
Ah yes, I'm off to the Nigerian writer's residency, in Oyo State. :)
Friday, September 09, 2011
Gaga is a fine actor but African music is way more fun
I love Lady Gaga's theatricality.
Her music itself is bland but good. It has technical merit, even if it's not rhythmically or melodically fun. It wouldn't survive the competition in Nigeria, like cheeseburger is not about to displace suya, shaki, or kpomo.
But what appalls me is how few of her songs I've actually heard. Should I try to become a fan?
One of the first I watched was Paparazzi - again, I love colourful theatrical videos, but really, what kind of melody is that? Also on TV, I saw a lot of Bad Romance, Poker Face, and (oddly enough) Telephone, in which Beyonce writhes and rasps on the video, to the taste of Nigerianaudience viewers.
These songs all have obverse non-melodies, a bit like hearing a thrown pancake fall off a wall. What's the idea?
Then I watched You and I and much as I want to hate it, the video changed me, it's that clever, that artsy, very rich in story and imagery, very conscious of place - boring places where men and women kidnap each other for life. The melody too is actually good, in that middle-America (or middle Australia) kind of way. A little rock-history, bass guitar, country music = Not bad.
Today I saw a google chrome advert that featured The Edge of Glory and thought I've NEVER actually heard that before. Then I heard this tiny clip of Born This Way and yep, same thing: I've known for aeons that Gaga was "Born This Way" and that she has littledevilsmonsters, the most twitter/facebook followers and most downloads or youtube views or something, but never heard one bar of the title track of her album.
Oh, did she do Just Dance? I know that one.
Guess I do live in a bubble inside a cave. Yet I run a kick-ass entertainment blog .
Her music itself is bland but good. It has technical merit, even if it's not rhythmically or melodically fun. It wouldn't survive the competition in Nigeria, like cheeseburger is not about to displace suya, shaki, or kpomo.
But what appalls me is how few of her songs I've actually heard. Should I try to become a fan?
One of the first I watched was Paparazzi - again, I love colourful theatrical videos, but really, what kind of melody is that? Also on TV, I saw a lot of Bad Romance, Poker Face, and (oddly enough) Telephone, in which Beyonce writhes and rasps on the video, to the taste of Nigerian
These songs all have obverse non-melodies, a bit like hearing a thrown pancake fall off a wall. What's the idea?
Then I watched You and I and much as I want to hate it, the video changed me, it's that clever, that artsy, very rich in story and imagery, very conscious of place - boring places where men and women kidnap each other for life. The melody too is actually good, in that middle-America (or middle Australia) kind of way. A little rock-history, bass guitar, country music = Not bad.
Today I saw a google chrome advert that featured The Edge of Glory and thought I've NEVER actually heard that before. Then I heard this tiny clip of Born This Way and yep, same thing: I've known for aeons that Gaga was "Born This Way" and that she has little
Oh, did she do Just Dance? I know that one.
Guess I do live in a bubble inside a cave. Yet I run a kick-ass entertainment blog .
Wednesday, September 07, 2011
WS, aka Kongi, aka Anikulapo's cousin, aka Old Man Swagga
December 10, 1986
Your Majesties, Ladies and Gentlemen,It was inevitable that the Nordic world and the African, especially that part of it which constitutes the Yoruba world - should meet at the crossroads of Sweden. That I am the agent of such a symbolic encounter is due very simply to that my creative Muse is Ogun, the god of creativity and destruction, of the lyric and metallurgy. This deity anticipated your scientist Alfred Nobel at the very beginning of time by clearing a path through primordial chaos, dynamiting his way through the core of earth to open a route for his fellow deities who sought to be reunited with us, mortals. I covered that event for my publishers - well, taking a few poetic licences, naturally - under the title IDANRE. You may have run into that reportage which has been translated into Swedish under the title, OGUN SKUGGA. If you have not, I recommend that you proceed to the nearest bookseller for this piece of pre-history which makes Ogun, very definitively, the progenitor of your great inventor, Alfred Nobel.
I urge this especially because, if you happened to take a casual walk through the streets, or peer into the hotel lobbies of Stockholm, you might get the impression that my nation, Nigeria, has tried to solve some of its many problems by shifting half its population surreptitiously to Sweden. I assure you, however, that they have merely come to satisfy a natural curiosity about the true nationality of this inventor. For they cannot understand why their Ogun should have transferred such a potent secret to a Swede rather than to his Yoruba descendants. The mountains of Sweden are a tempting habitat for this deity, we know, but the Swedish winter and long midnights are hardly congenial to his temperament. And while the local acqua-vitae might help to infuse some warmth into his tropical joints, we do know that he tends to stick to his favourite palm wine.
Some day, I suppose, we will unravel this mystery. In the meantime, however, we will content ourselves with saluting the vision which made our presence here today a positive event, since it was Alfred Nobel's hope that the humanistic conversion, even of the most terrible knowledge, can improve the quality of life for mankind. That also is the lesson of Ogun, that essence of the warring duality of human nature. And we join in the endeavour that the lyric face of that demiurge will triumph in our time, snaring for all time that elusive bird - peace - on our planet earth.
From Les Prix Nobel. The Nobel Prizes 1986, Editor Wilhelm Odelberg, [Nobel Foundation], Stockholm, 1987
Copyright © The Nobel Foundation 1986
Saturday, September 03, 2011
Video
Noticed the video inserts in my recent posts?
It's nice to have somewhat decent internet, that's why I can actually watch and embed video without too much fuss.
Someday you'll read my"Video" poem: verse-coated raunchiness in which I'm well pleased.
Speaking of...I like Le'mmon. That's All (Explicit/Uncut) is one of his many songs. Listen.
Here are a few more Mellow Yellow singles by Le'mmon: Radio, and Have you seen her.
Current mood: Floating
It's nice to have somewhat decent internet, that's why I can actually watch and embed video without too much fuss.
Someday you'll read my"Video" poem: verse-coated raunchiness in which I'm well pleased.
Speaking of...I like Le'mmon. That's All (Explicit/Uncut) is one of his many songs. Listen.
Here are a few more Mellow Yellow singles by Le'mmon: Radio, and Have you seen her.
Current mood: Floating
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Afropolitan / African anthem
music
Mr. Skills aka JJC is the musician behind one of my favourite beats: We Are Africans.
Last year I showed you the ORIGINAL, the Africa Unite Remix, and the Naija (Nigerian) remix featuring DaGrin and others.
That is THE anthem y'all and now there are even more remixes.
Let's travel...
to Sierra Leone for the Salone version:
and to Zimbabwe for the Southern African beat:
There is a 9ja Street mix, a more local version of the Naija remix:
I also found some techno and acoustic versions on youtube.
Awoo!
Mr. Skills aka JJC is the musician behind one of my favourite beats: We Are Africans.
Last year I showed you the ORIGINAL, the Africa Unite Remix, and the Naija (Nigerian) remix featuring DaGrin and others.
That is THE anthem y'all and now there are even more remixes.
Let's travel...
to Sierra Leone for the Salone version:
and to Zimbabwe for the Southern African beat:
There is a 9ja Street mix, a more local version of the Naija remix:
I also found some techno and acoustic versions on youtube.
Awoo!
Monday, August 15, 2011
Doing the writer thing
music
I just got a pair of poems accepted by an online magazine. Like the hype over getting a scientific paper published, pretty much nobody is going to read it.
I mean, with creative writing your chances of getting read are actually (much) better.
But still I'm so excited!!! I'm getting published (check itch in a few days.)
I wish academics were not so stuck, and I'm proud of myself for being unstuck: getting a bite of these worlds.
A video on academic culture:
It tells basically that superstition (the idea that learned people are witches or devilish) killed Baghdad science. Amazing.
I just got a pair of poems accepted by an online magazine. Like the hype over getting a scientific paper published, pretty much nobody is going to read it.
I mean, with creative writing your chances of getting read are actually (much) better.
But still I'm so excited!!! I'm getting published (check itch in a few days.)
I wish academics were not so stuck, and I'm proud of myself for being unstuck: getting a bite of these worlds.
A video on academic culture:
It tells basically that superstition (the idea that learned people are witches or devilish) killed Baghdad science. Amazing.
Sunday, August 07, 2011
Academy
music
2008 - I drew this layout for an academy. It would be a child's garden...a really swanky village for three types of geeks: Olympiad Prep - Math, other Science, Chess; Sports - Tennis, Football (especially female), synchro; Verbal - Journalism, Languages, Theater.

Then I started a blog and webpage (now empty) for it, and also had extended planning chats (password protected) with a couple of friends: one friend is an engineering prof who runs a very simple charity/scholarship program, the other a wise and fun UN worker/administrator. I should go and read the chats now, we had lots of cool ideas.
2011 - Still a lot to do before this is real. Maybe 10 years from now. Maybe 5. I guess I'll need a little money.
Pay attention to the buildings, all the styles, from all the places I love: Sana'ani earth-brick towers, Spanish balconies on The Mallorca, East Asian roofs on The Kyoto, a Vegas-inspired theater, and I love the solar-panel-as-pattern on the icy-blue igloo. Tiger Woods is in the picture too.
This is synchronized swimming

NOTES:
- I love music, but there's no music on the list. Oh well. I must have felt unqualified to include it.
- Interesting that I loved (or valued) journalism long before I worked with journalists.
2008 - I drew this layout for an academy. It would be a child's garden...a really swanky village for three types of geeks: Olympiad Prep - Math, other Science, Chess; Sports - Tennis, Football (especially female), synchro; Verbal - Journalism, Languages, Theater.

Then I started a blog and webpage (now empty) for it, and also had extended planning chats (password protected) with a couple of friends: one friend is an engineering prof who runs a very simple charity/scholarship program, the other a wise and fun UN worker/administrator. I should go and read the chats now, we had lots of cool ideas.
2011 - Still a lot to do before this is real. Maybe 10 years from now. Maybe 5. I guess I'll need a little money.
Pay attention to the buildings, all the styles, from all the places I love: Sana'ani earth-brick towers, Spanish balconies on The Mallorca, East Asian roofs on The Kyoto, a Vegas-inspired theater, and I love the solar-panel-as-pattern on the icy-blue igloo. Tiger Woods is in the picture too.
This is synchronized swimming

NOTES:
- I love music, but there's no music on the list. Oh well. I must have felt unqualified to include it.
- Interesting that I loved (or valued) journalism long before I worked with journalists.
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Timeless Music - Representing Yoruba
Lara Bajomo was this gifted vocalist back in Queen's College. Now she's Lara George, the woman who gave us Ijoba Orun (the kingdom of heaven) - the gospel recording that causes goosebumps in young and old alike.
Dare Art Alade attended King's College, performing in a KC-QC operetta (championed by the QC principal) around 1997. He performs as Darey. Although he has several hits in several genres (usually R&B), I think it's this performance - his rendition of Sisi Eko - that will be played into the 22nd century.
Dare Art Alade attended King's College, performing in a KC-QC operetta (championed by the QC principal) around 1997. He performs as Darey. Although he has several hits in several genres (usually R&B), I think it's this performance - his rendition of Sisi Eko - that will be played into the 22nd century.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
According to us
music
THE WINNERS OF THE 2011 NIGERIAN BLOG AWARDS are:
THE WINNERS OF THE 2011 NIGERIAN BLOG AWARDS are:
- Best Beauty Blog
- Best Blog by a Blogger based outside of Nigeria
- Best Blog by a Nigeria-based Blogger
- Best Book, Poetry or Writing Blog
- Best Collaborative or Group Blog
- Best Daily Read
- Best Designed Blog
- Best Entertainment Blog
- Best Fashion or Style Blog
- Best Fitness or Health Blog
- Best Food Blog
- Best Magazine or News Blog
- Best Music Blog
- Best New Blog
- Best Parenting Blog
- Best Personal Blog
- Best Photography Blog
- Best Political Blog
- Best Religion Blog
- Best Science or Technology Blog
- Best Sports Blog
- Best Student Blog
- Best Travel Blog
- Best Wedding Blog
- Most Controversial Blog
- Most Humourous Blog
- Most Educational Blog
- Most Inspiring Blog
- Most Unique Voice in a Blog
- Nigerian Blog of the Year
Wednesday, July 06, 2011
Smart and Dumb, Yin and Yang
music
Soon after my last post, I started to think I was wrong. The research "system", centered in the United States, has evidently succeeded in producing cures, patents, missiles, NASDAQ, ... I should appreciate that at least things work in that sense, and that scientists are guaranteed a middle-class income and higher.
But then I got support from people who say, yes, that is what I'm going through or went through. So add depressed practitioners to the list of products of the research system.
Why this system? Well, division of labour is a fine thing. It makes experts, and experts are better at what they do, they are faster too.
It is also a sad thing. Here are some fundamental problems.
REPETITION IS BORING AND SOMETIMES UNHEALTHY
If you worked on an automotive assembly line (assembly lines are the apex of division of labour) , everyday for several hours you could be tasked with aligning part No. 123xyz to anterior of exhaust manifold. Repeat repeat repeat. At some point, most people would crave a change, would get repetitive stress injuries, ...
So also some people love science but can't find a "station" with tasks that match their needs. I think of the physicist I know who suffers most in science, and this person is the most engaging and well-rounded person, and THAT is the reason he suffers. I was told earnestly that I have "many interests" and THAT was a problem. Imagine a student with varied interests. Who was it that said, don't let education get in the way of your learning! Ah yes, some Mark Twain character.
LEADERSHIP MISLEADS
Another problem is that management in the factory is not perfect. For example, Michigan management (the Governor, the suits, or the lobbyists) continues to engage you in producing cars when the thing that ought to be produced is not cars but flowers for instance. It is good that policymakers in the US determine to spend $10bn on cancer or $10m on collision avoidance in unmanned aerial vehicles, but the quest for money and "success" forces scientists to reflect all day long on those matters, and on presenting answers to appeal to a certain group of reviewers. This means that the many other ways of thinking about the world, the many other matters they might have explored, have to wait.
WHO IS YOUR MASTER?
In particular, the fact of research having its spiritual home in the US means that academics in Nigeria ape the US rather than research our own world. Because their management says "write ten papers" or "publish in International journals." So instead of taking gross mechanical measurements of bamboo (an important building material nowadays), you think to take micro-mechanical measurements (since that's what the white man did for steel centuries ago).
The gross measurements might turn up results that are relevant to construction, housing, and maybe more. The micro-measurements are useless but could conceivably be built upon for publication.
To do the gross measurements, you might have to rig your own measurement device and language. To do the steel-type measurements, you would fit in, in fact, you would import fancy equipment from Europe.
So...what do you do? Primitive manual labour? Or publishable science?
It is similar to the crisis in our literature, which is that since it's hard to sell or distribute to the 1 billion Africans and thereby make a living writing for Africa, Nigerian writers sort of have to ask first, "what does my master at some stepping-stone Western journal or media house like?" (To which I say look at the local music and movie industries and be encouraged: as soon as we unclog a few channels, Africans can serve our local markets as well as the world.)
RE-THINK WHAT WORKS
Well, it just occurred to me that the subheadings reproduce the classic economic questions (so stale that it makes me sad that students still learn this as "economics" and not "history") - What to produce, How to produce, For whom to produce.
It seems that division of labour solves problems in each area:
How to produce - chop up the tasks,
What - let the boss decide,
For whom - I guess whoever can pay.
Then it introduces problems in each area too as shown above: drunken leadership organises you to produce the wrong thing, past efficiency gains from dividing labour lead to more mindless dividing, and the poor and recently-poor are perennially under-served.

Picture: My liberty, by yin-yang-destinity (on deviantart.com)
I have an old book titled Re-engineering the Corporation that has little useful to say. Still, it was a bestseller for stodgy mid-1990s managers, and the authors suggest that division-of-labour along functional lines might be overhauled in ways that create better outcomes for the firm.
So, don't wait. Overhaul.
Soon after my last post, I started to think I was wrong. The research "system", centered in the United States, has evidently succeeded in producing cures, patents, missiles, NASDAQ, ... I should appreciate that at least things work in that sense, and that scientists are guaranteed a middle-class income and higher.
But then I got support from people who say, yes, that is what I'm going through or went through. So add depressed practitioners to the list of products of the research system.
Why this system? Well, division of labour is a fine thing. It makes experts, and experts are better at what they do, they are faster too.
It is also a sad thing. Here are some fundamental problems.
REPETITION IS BORING AND SOMETIMES UNHEALTHY
If you worked on an automotive assembly line (assembly lines are the apex of division of labour) , everyday for several hours you could be tasked with aligning part No. 123xyz to anterior of exhaust manifold. Repeat repeat repeat. At some point, most people would crave a change, would get repetitive stress injuries, ...
So also some people love science but can't find a "station" with tasks that match their needs. I think of the physicist I know who suffers most in science, and this person is the most engaging and well-rounded person, and THAT is the reason he suffers. I was told earnestly that I have "many interests" and THAT was a problem. Imagine a student with varied interests. Who was it that said, don't let education get in the way of your learning! Ah yes, some Mark Twain character.
LEADERSHIP MISLEADS
Another problem is that management in the factory is not perfect. For example, Michigan management (the Governor, the suits, or the lobbyists) continues to engage you in producing cars when the thing that ought to be produced is not cars but flowers for instance. It is good that policymakers in the US determine to spend $10bn on cancer or $10m on collision avoidance in unmanned aerial vehicles, but the quest for money and "success" forces scientists to reflect all day long on those matters, and on presenting answers to appeal to a certain group of reviewers. This means that the many other ways of thinking about the world, the many other matters they might have explored, have to wait.
WHO IS YOUR MASTER?
In particular, the fact of research having its spiritual home in the US means that academics in Nigeria ape the US rather than research our own world. Because their management says "write ten papers" or "publish in International journals." So instead of taking gross mechanical measurements of bamboo (an important building material nowadays), you think to take micro-mechanical measurements (since that's what the white man did for steel centuries ago).
The gross measurements might turn up results that are relevant to construction, housing, and maybe more. The micro-measurements are useless but could conceivably be built upon for publication.
To do the gross measurements, you might have to rig your own measurement device and language. To do the steel-type measurements, you would fit in, in fact, you would import fancy equipment from Europe.
So...what do you do? Primitive manual labour? Or publishable science?
It is similar to the crisis in our literature, which is that since it's hard to sell or distribute to the 1 billion Africans and thereby make a living writing for Africa, Nigerian writers sort of have to ask first, "what does my master at some stepping-stone Western journal or media house like?" (To which I say look at the local music and movie industries and be encouraged: as soon as we unclog a few channels, Africans can serve our local markets as well as the world.)
RE-THINK WHAT WORKS
Well, it just occurred to me that the subheadings reproduce the classic economic questions (so stale that it makes me sad that students still learn this as "economics" and not "history") - What to produce, How to produce, For whom to produce.
It seems that division of labour solves problems in each area:
How to produce - chop up the tasks,
What - let the boss decide,
For whom - I guess whoever can pay.
Then it introduces problems in each area too as shown above: drunken leadership organises you to produce the wrong thing, past efficiency gains from dividing labour lead to more mindless dividing, and the poor and recently-poor are perennially under-served.

Picture: My liberty, by yin-yang-destinity (on deviantart.com)
I have an old book titled Re-engineering the Corporation that has little useful to say. Still, it was a bestseller for stodgy mid-1990s managers, and the authors suggest that division-of-labour along functional lines might be overhauled in ways that create better outcomes for the firm.
So, don't wait. Overhaul.
Sunday, July 03, 2011
One dumb thing about science
music
how is research? I got released from
Caltech recently (changed from
sabbatical to separated) but when I'm
ready got to get back to science. That
said, glad I left. The dumbest thing
about science is how small the audience
is. Why not speak / write to be
understood? Why not enter policy
decisions on occasion? Why not derive
which problems to solve from nature and
society? I mean, the exercises are very
useful, the edifices of theory, very
beautiful even, but if you ever feel
hungry for a change of diet, go for it, I
promise it will aid your science. (And
that ends my sermon lol)
- From a message I just sent to one of the physicists in my life.
how is research? I got released from
Caltech recently (changed from
sabbatical to separated) but when I'm
ready got to get back to science. That
said, glad I left. The dumbest thing
about science is how small the audience
is. Why not speak / write to be
understood? Why not enter policy
decisions on occasion? Why not derive
which problems to solve from nature and
society? I mean, the exercises are very
useful, the edifices of theory, very
beautiful even, but if you ever feel
hungry for a change of diet, go for it, I
promise it will aid your science. (And
that ends my sermon lol)
- From a message I just sent to one of the physicists in my life.
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