Phenomenal Black Woman

 

Serena Williams speaks on Pregnancy, Power & coming back to Center Court in Vogue Magazine’s latest Issue

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Vitamin M for MUSIC

Some of the best things on youtube, ever:
Luh You (by Anderson .Paak) and i (aka I Love Myself, by Kendrick Lamar)

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I've been ill

Finally!  
It's been coming for a couple of weeks now, just this feeling of - imbalance all over.  Tired, wanting to oversleep but not actually succeeding, etc.
Then it hit at its new favourite spot - my tummy.  It's been poop poop poop the last 24 hours, like every hour or two drop a li'l something for the poop gods.  O Lawd.  I considered getting a nappy.

Much better now - I look forward to taking care of myself (ALWAYS FUN!  There'll be rice, fish, hopefully I can get interested enough to eat bread, and by next week maybe amala and all that yippee!)
And of course I look forward to recording what happened.
Actually maybe I can do that right now.

Old stuff about my tum HERE.

The latest below:

The immediate trigger was a lot a lot of groundnuts 1 1/2 days ago.  I sometimes buy boiled groundnuts, and for a few years now I don't eat them unless I re-boil them first...basically I used to get pimples/infections from g/nuts and found the re-heating treatment helped.  God knows where those groundnut shells have been and what germs they've picked up.
I sometimes buy the boiled groundnuts, foolishly keep them lying around, then do the re-cook and eat the next day or so, which is what I did this time, I think.  Anyway, massive bloating ensued, rotten gassiness, I managed to sleep, but started the poopfest really early the next morning.

Many hours before that, I had put a lot of good food on top of the other, basically eaten a lot very fast, then ate what should have been the next day's lunch very fast on top of that.  I felt something was wrong - why couldn't I stop myself?

In the days before that, for like two days, a lot of food.  Normally I'm an eighty-percent eater like the Japanese, but here I was overstuffing myself.  Example: had some FANTASTIC suya with my friend on Friday evening, then went right back to my parents' and ate some rice (the amount I would usually eat without the suya) and then ate some more rice (so all that meat then twice a normal little meal) and presumably went to sleep right after.  In normal life, I don't even eat after sundown, but all of this food was after sundown.

On that day, my dad mentioned that I'd lost a lot of weight, and I said maybe it was exercise.  Because yeah, once a year or so I actually exercise lol.  Now I have really lost a lot of weight :) I mean since yesterday. 

You know what happened the day before Friday?  Air-conditioning.  Note to self: in future I will just refuse, refuse to pretend I'm ok when locked in an air-conditioned car for so long.  Part of why I thought I was ok was probably I was 'a little separated from my body' already.  But I knew I was unhappy.  I knew I wanted the air outside.  I kept quiet.  What's remarkable here is that normally this incident would have led to a cold, but now it seems to have led to a stomach incident. 

And the day before that an all-day meeting, though I felt completely fine that day as I recall.  Some other guy was farting.  God sees you :-/ I just hope people didn't think it was me :-/ 

Back to the tummy.
The ijebu garri that I love so much is too harsh nowadays.  Too...acid or something.  It has to go.  It's fine when cooked as eba but it feels too dangerous as garri.  I get no joy from non-Ijebu garri.  Maybe I'll check for the market varieties.  Maybe it's these new packaged brands that are making it wrong.

I can't believe there's supposedly cyanide in garri.  Wharh?   

I can't have too much pepper.  Talking to you, this ofada woman - why must you put so much raw pepper in the ofada stew?  And why must I eat it in such a rush, even when it hurts and my throat is saying please stop?  (A bout of excess food on Sunday, included over-spicy rice.)

In the past, it's been straight food poisoning symptoms - empty the gut in one shock of a rejection, you can almost hear my body saying fuck you and no you get the fuck out of here to the food.  This time it was a slower 'process-and-express' thing with the poop (I kept gently adding food and water up top lol).
 I feel we're making progress.
We = me and my digestive tract?  
I was reading again about indigestion and remembered how bad it could be and really, this time it was not so bad.  I felt a little nausea this morning but failed to throw up (yippee!), I did not have heartburn symptoms.  I did have a low-level fever and sweats and I've had a headache for a while (the disembodiment thing I said before...normally I don't have headaches, period...but I've had at various times in the past two weeks both the headache above the eyes and headache behind the eyes.)  
Kept thinking how glad I was that I didn't have to go anywhere.
It's raining.  
My neighbour's kid hates her cold and painful morning bath and the assault on the mouth that accompanies it.  I completely understand.  There ought to be a law...

There will be a final solution to the indigestion matter for me.  There's a tooth that needs to go, the seventh on the top right side to match the missing seventh on the top left (from almost two years now, how time flies).  The dentists disagree, the x-rays say there's no problem, but I know what I know.
Still on the health solution: I need a desk and better posture habits with the computer.  I need a little exercise.  It helps when I don't become excessively upset (but that's life, it has to happen on occasion), because that was the root of the root of the overwork and the overthink and the overeat and the overcold.  When I sort out the tooth I wonder where the disease center in my body will wander to?  Vapourized?  Or will we always have periodic ill health with us?

Oh God, I didn't tell you about the mouthgasms I induced?  About two weeks ago.  The shi* too funny.  Then I did it again the following day, this time it was extended and really funny.  I thought medical people might be interested to know.  Or Oprah.  Start another trillion-dollar industry.  Distract the masses.  Sell more toothbrushes.  LOL. 

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Sample poems; Purpose-driven poetry

"But it shouldn’t take a scholar to be moved by the written word—great literature has something to offer everyone. All our lives are compelling, full of joys and burdens and profound experiences we should be sharing—and poetry is the most intimate way to share it. When you read a poem, you become the medium; the poet speaks in your voice, paints the canvas of your inner eye."
 - in RATTLE, whose mission is to promote the practice of poetry.

   

   

The four books above were selected as winners of the 2016 Rattle Chapbook Prize.  Each of them seems to be a very clearly and strongly motivated collection.

3arabi Song by Zeina Hashem Beck is, like the music of Umm Kulthum, Fairuz, or Abdel Halim Hafez, an introduction to the feeling inside Arab hearts and lives. I'm reading some of the poems now.  Here is a sung reading:

Heather Bell's Kill the Dogs, is about women, who are "faced with a choice: kill the dogs or let them eat everything we have ever loved."  Read/listen to “Haircut”

Denise Miller's Ligatures wrestles with the language of murders of black people by police.  Read/hear “What I Learned at the Academy: Another Officer’s Confession.”

Turn Left Before Morning by April Salzano is an experience of autism from the point of view of the parent.  Sample. 

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MUSIC: Boy Talk

Vanilla and Desire, by Odunsi the Engine.

 
The new kid is old-school.

Time flies:
10 years ago I was telling you about a youngster named Banky W.    
Want Girl Talk instead? Download here.
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~ Philosopher ~

1.
I'm beginning to see the light


2. 
The fundamental things apply
As time goes by

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Book, Music, Movie

Currently listening to this singer called jazzZ  
What I read at my parents' these days: Serving My Fatherland 
Watching later: two new episodes of Silicon Valley 

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As you grow older ... grow younger

'No le busques tres picos al toro' 

I first encountered this saying maybe 15 years ago in a book titled The Millionaire Next Door that I'd borrowed early in grad school.  I read a lot of books - about every kind of thing - in grad school.  Problem: you're supposed to NOT do that in grad school; you're supposed to focus.  But how are you supposed to know (believe, accept) what to focus on before you know (for instance) what not to focus on? 

I held on to that busques tres pico...del toro saying like crazy.  By the way it means: don't search for three horns on the bull.  (or roughly Don't look for three horns on a cow.)   I knew it was profound.  I knew that it applied to my situation.  I knew that I was stuck somehow, frustrated where other people seemed to be accepting, and needed to unravel this saying, but it remained an unsolved riddle. 

It was only this weekend that I remembered these words and felt them to be resolved; felt like I could finally park the saying among the things that I understand.

In part I came to understand it because I had recently read something about unicorns and how they don't exist or why or something.  This gave me a new, pretty visual for a three-horned bull where before I had only some grotesque growth from Revelations to imagine. 
In part I came to understand just because I'm older.  I see now how unique my "overthinking" problem is.  Look, it's not normal to look for that much more - sometimes a life is just a life, sometimes the things people do are just because the other person did them and social psychologists say people are just copycats, sometimes because their parents did them and so "it is written; destiny", sometimes because they just happened, sometimes because they were paid, sometimes because they felt good, sometimes because they felt bad.  And no, for most people, there is no "why" beyond these self-evident and temporarily satisfying answers.  For many people, that's what old age is for, or the death bed - time to reflect finally, on priorities, on if/how things could have been different. 

But of course you know that's not how I have lived.  I have kept asking "but why...?"  Why is the rich man rich?  Why is the poor country poor?  Why is the job so boring?  Why is the joy so fleeting?  Sometimes I need to just let the bull be a bull.  Bulls aren't bad.  They're real at least. 

As you grow older, maybe you know when what's before you is a bull and two horns at most is what to expect.  The job may give a salary but not meaning.  The trip may give new food and weather but not warm friends.  The old friend may share polite company but not excitement or insight.  Keep your expectations at two horns and you won't be disappointed. 

film: Linda and Ali

It's important to know that I wasn't feeling very well when I made these 'discoveries.'  I spent quite a bit of time this past week researching gastrointestinal inflammation, anemia, etc, symptoms from dehydration to dizziness, but today I feel much better in part because maybe my body is killing the stomach flu germs (yeah, I don't get the flu anymore it seems; my tummy is the new battlesite) and in part because I used the best tip I got yesterday from a person, not a website - drink lots of water, flush flush the bad stuff with lots of water.
I'll say it's relevant that I wasn't feeling very well at the time that I came to understand mental laziness, the possibility or the importance of accepting drab, relishing the just-ok, letting life be.  My brain was tired.  I feel differently now.  I feel stronger and more able to perform my little optimization routines. 

It's also important that I say something concrete in this messy essay, for example, graduate school was not supposed to be a life, or a philosophy, or some sort of three-horned bull like I lived it; it could be seen simply as a career step or qualifying phase with some training and the attainment of a degree as its end.

And so, because such drab is not good enough, alongside growing older, one ought to grow younger. 

Yes, we should all say, to unicorns the colour of bubbles.  Yes to dreams and fairytale magic and impractical wishes.  Sometimes people are really Superman or Wonderwoman.  Sometimes the job is incredible fun.  Sometimes, something happens that has never happened before.  Sometimes there is luck. 

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What I wrote about Mr. Eazi, Cobhams Asuquo, and their new albums

 Because Creetiq asked

I thought why not have some fun and win some money
😊
The top 10 have been announced, and I won't be winning any money

Here's the list of shortlisted entries for #TheCriticChallenge2017 cc @Catchoris @joeyakan @drwill20 @theChiaman @IAkinseye @MsSalamatu pic.twitter.com/UVpbLJ93RD

— CREETIQ (@creetiqafrica) June 3, 2017

so here are my essays.  They were fun to write.

Music Review by @tosinbird: For You by Cobhams Asuquo

As expected, Cobhams Asuquo’s album is divine.  Whereas you might have expected to visit heights of ecstasy, stirred by glorious musical arrangements and operatic vocals, this work surprises by being divine in a different, more Biblical, sense. 

Titled ‘For You,’ the album opens with ‘Make Our Hearts’, a simple hymn performed with sparse piano and vocals like something from an Anglican Sunday morning.  The piano is adequate and the voice is Cobhams’ that is to say, a very nice voice. 

Track 2 ‘Here It Is’ pops a bit more – there’s guitar and percussion and a tale of urban stress backgrounding this worship song.  It should be easy for this to be adopted by congregations worldwide, just as we Nigerians opened our hearts to American worship recordings back in the ‘90s.

Cobhams has stylistic maturity and so we can predict the arc of the rest of this album – even more style, more ‘ginger’ and assorted spices, and sometimes more ‘pop’-sounding but still sacred music.  Indeed, Track 3, ‘Highly Lifted’ features a foreign artiste Aaron Lindsey and sounds like something from the Maranatha! group on whose music many Nigerian Christians of Cobhams’ generation were reared.

Track 4 ‘No One’ features Nosa, a darling Nigerian artiste specializing in Gospel music, but the more salient guest artiste is the Caribbean feel on this tune.  There’s also a backing choir doing Yoruba praise lyrics.  Altogether, it’s subtle and very beautiful.  Altogether, this album is subtle, avoids showing off, and instead devotes itself to simply providing beautiful ‘praise and worship’ material to last through the ages.   

‘Oh How I Love You’ follows, and it features another American, Claire Hendershot.  The next track ‘Let Your Kingdom Come’ is firmly in Christian Rock territory with the acoustic-guitar tingling throughout, while the title track (07 – For You) is essentially a 21^st-century psalm:  Like the river needs the stream, Like the grasses need the dew, Like the sailboat needs the wind, Oh Lord my soul thirsts FOR YOU…Like a desert needs the rain, etc.  Here the mystery of the album title is solved - this work is not a gift ‘for you’ greedy, grabbing child; it’s dedicated to capital Y-You, capital G-God. 

Track 08, a cover of the popular ‘More Of You’ is heartfelt and heart-stirring.  Then follows ‘Glorious Deliverer’ a straight-forward stripped-down worship tune, and another cover - ‘Here I Am’ To Worship…Halleluyah. 

Track 11, Ordinary People, was released as a single, with a video, two years ago.  The singing is slightly more dramatic on this track, still, trust me, Cobhams’ voice is a top-notch instrument and capable of far more.  I wish you could hear him when he’s not actively hiding the power, texture, and sheer nimbleness of his voice. 

Track 12, ‘Eyin Sa’ follows, a deep worship offering, a somewhat still and silent and appropriately reverent piece.  Then we have another cover, of a hymn you may remember from Catholic church: ‘Praise To The Lord’ The Almighty The King Of Cre-ayy-tion.  This features Hendershot again, and they share a fine male-female duet with enough tempo and heft to fit in a little non-black, neighbourhood church service in America, or pop-channel and shopping-mall music in a country like Nigeria that does not mind sacred music in public places. 

Track 14, ‘Angels All Around’ was recently released as a single, also with a video.  It shares its simple message and some whistling and la-la-ing - three minutes of that - and it’s the end suddenly, of the whole album. 

The world is moving so fast that one wonders how many people have time for this sort of simplicity.  As you know, the answer is – truly millions of people.  Do you love Jesus and/or enjoy worshipping God?  This album is like King David returned to add to the psalms. 

This is the first album of music performed by Cobhams, the maestro producer who over the past decade has touched so much Nigerian music performed by other artistes, turning every single piece to ear-fondling gold.  He deserves to have the intended audience find this work.  

 

 ~  *  ~ 

Music Review by @tosinbird: Life Is Eazi Vol. 1 - Accra To Lagos, by Mr. Eazi

Life is Eazi. 

What do you say to this philosophy? 

Just say: Zaga That!  Then you’re welcome to our club. 

On the other hand, many people would object strongly to you saying that life is easy, or (misspelled) eazi, or that life is anything but strife and stress.  Ask many Lagosians and they would say: Life is Hustle.  Or (mispronounced) ‘Ozzu.   These ones, who in fact need this album the most, would probably be the last to consume Mr. Eazi’s product – a chill pill in music form. 

By now you should know Mr. Eazi – his real name is Tosin Ajibade (nice name, Tosin) and so he’s Yoruba, from Nigeria, but sometimes he gets confused and thinks he’s Ghanaian because that’s where he learned how to really chill out and eat banku or whatever inferior imitation of Nigerian food they eat out there…and now cheesy people will bring up the jollof wars again.  Spare us.  Nigeria is the Giant of Africa, end of discussion. 

You should know Mr. Eazi by now - his voice is rough and strong and smooth, like ale, alomo without the excess bitters, and he collaborated on these super-amazing recordings – Bankulize featuring PappyKojo, Skin Tight featuring Efya, both produced by DJ Juls, and more – that were adored but all more-or-less underground one or two years ago until all of a sudden this goofy Eazi guy’s photograph was everywhere and Wizkid who was newly sort-of world-famous was signing him.   

Both of these tracks – Skintight and Bankulize - are amazing.  Neither is on this album, but you can find them, with adorable visuals, on youtube.  They show talent, promise, and oodles of swag.  What do you call the charm of a chocolate-skinned handsome and lean guy with a sort of raffia hat always there on his head or hanging behind his shoulders?  Aboki swag?  Cowboy swag?  Cool Fulani herdsman? 

Now to comment on this album labelled – Life Is Eazi – The Mixtape - Accra To Lagos: It seems my gorgeous African brother and namesake Mr. Eazi has recorded the same song – same beat at least – times fourteen, and called it a mixtape.   Why would he dare do that?  Well, keeping it simple worked for Wizkid and may work again here. 

Do you remember that Ayo (Joy) project, the Wizzy-platter marketing something called ‘Afrobeat’ or ‘Afrobeats’ - whichever name you choose?  It was a rather jumbled album but effective as a sampler of Wizkid’s style, designed to introduce him to specific global audiences and help him find a place in their music marketing categories.  Did it work or not?  Ok, so now his team is likely saying let’s try that formula again, in every way, starting with the earth-toned album cover and ‘not doing too much’ with the music. 

By the way, I adore the cover photos on both albums: the coral-bead-wearing “Fela girls” and shabby mud house and traditional clothing on Wizkid’s cover, and the ‘Ghana-Must-Go’ bags sewn into ‘agbada’ that Mr. Eazi wears in a mock chief-attire on his front cover.  Inside he poses with a casual jacket made of blue bag-material.  Always the hat.      

In the album/mixtape proper, I love him singing ‘I understand your needs, I understand your needs’ on ‘Right Now’ – Track 13 of 14, which is the one, the shining, the stand-out track on this album.  Oh that voice!  I remember now why I have a crush on the guy.  I don’t know, would YOU marry someone just because he’s intelligent and hot and sings beautifully? 

The rest of the music has:

-           some words but not many really because it is eazi-er to repeat the same ones.

-          a computer simulation of a nice happy person spanking drums kaa-kaa-kaa-ka-ka forever, but you won’t believe, they’re not all the same producer.  I exaggerate a little – there are lovely times, rhythmically, on Track 07 ‘Accra to Lagos’ for instance, and there’s even a saxophone feature on Track 09 ‘In The Morning.’

-          featured artistes like Falz, Olamide, Phyno, and Tekno, of Nigeria and presumably Ghanaian artistes like Mugeez and Medikal.

-          funny moments like Mr. Eazi saying bumbum on the very popular ‘Leg Over’ – Track One;  saying pint (the way the street pronounces pant, underwear) and bumbum again on ‘Detty Yasef’ Track 08 where Falz is not his uproariously funny self; and DJ Cuppy playing Eazi’s girlfriend on Track Six which may not be funny to you.  

The truth is I’ve rooted for Mr. Eazi from Day One, and I’m not about to stop now. 

Omo wa ni - na our pikin.  Open door make ‘im enter. 

 ~  *  ~  

Summary, both albums are very just-ok work by far better than ok artistes. Oh well. 

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Individual and selfie-society

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I am genuinely sick of 'narratives', 'personalities', 'brands', and constant PR-ing.  I would like to send a big shut up to the world.  Just for a second.  Shut up and watch The Godfather or something, then when you have something great or important to share, please let's see/hear/read/feel/smell it.  Thank you.

What else is going on in my life?  It is peaceful.  It's raining outside.  It's mango and avocado season and you can still have really tasty pineapples if you want.  I'm watching The Godfather.  In my head it's Ella singing  Shall We Dance? : Life is short, we're growing older // Don't you be an also-ran // ... // Dance whenever you can. 

Ella

Reportedly born 100 years ago today, Ella Fitzgerald. 

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It's Taurus season. Park the drama.

Music: PRBLMS by 6lack // D.I.L.L.I.G.A. by SDC and Mojeed

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The Legend of High-Tail the mare and her beloved stallion Sam

friendships come and go ... the social lives of horses ... like following a soap opera

 and we were horses

a time ago

Sitting Bull, stallion Sam, and High Tail 

star  .   in 

The Secret Lives of Horses

One-word astrology: The signs as Forces of Nature

Sign	Physics, Nature, Matter
FIRE
Aries	Lava
Leo	Sunshine
Sagittarius	Spark
AIR
Libra	Air
Aquarius	Solar Wind
Gemini	Talk
WATER
Cancer	Ice
Scorpio	Steam
Pisces	Stream
EARTH
Capricorn	Mountain
Taurus	Plain
Virgo	Cave

© Tosin Otitoju, 2017

 

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